Originally published in Planet Magazine No. 19 (September 1998).
Match the Celebrity to the Implant!
(It’s not as obvious as you think! Answers at bottom of page.)
[Archive note: on the original page, the five celebrities were shown as small news photos above their names. The photos are not reproduced here.]
Celebrity*
| 1. Carl Lewis | 2. Pamela Lee Anderson | 3. Monica Lewinsky | 4. William Gibson | 5. Whitley Strieber |
Implant**
| A. Chest | B. Dental-Penile | C. Ear Canal | D. Leg or Arm | E. Nasal/Cranial |
| Fun Facts: Two egg sacs; each gestates a single silicone-based life form. Does not work for silicon-based life forms. | Fun Facts: Controlled, non-impregnating method of transmitting alien messages via encoded genetic material to human/alien dental-implant transceivers. No, really! | Fun Facts: Human/Alien relay transceiver (aural model). Also can be disabled by wearing aluminum-foil hat. | Fun Facts: Tiny gyro- scopic motor that powers other bodily implants. Requires monthly abduction recharging. | Fun Facts: Brain interface (sinus model). Can be disabled by eating any type of ice cream or similar dessert. |
* This is only a small section of implanted celebrities. For the full list, see The News of the World 1998 Fact Book.
** This is only a small selection of available alien implants. For a complete menu, see Short Greys’ Handbook (CIA Press; 1997).
ANSWERS TO PUZZLE: 5 = A, B, C, D, E.
Just kidding; here are the real answers. 1 = D, 2 = A, 3 = B, 4 = E, and 5 = C. So maybe it was kinda obvious what we would say.
Puzzle ©1998 Andrew G. McCann
