Planet Magazine No. 34

Originally published as Planet Magazine No. 34 (June 2002) on the classic Planet Magazine site.

Planet Magazine

June Quarter 2002 * Issue No. 34 (Vol. 9, No. 2)
Wild Science Fiction & Fantasy on the Web — Since 1994
Price: Two Coins
to Temporarily Inhabit this Issue.

Digital art of a many-armed meditating cyborg figure holding glowing orbs, seated in a dark temple
Cover illustration: “Bhodisattvas” by Kenn Brown

Table of Contents

Editorial & Letters · About the Authors · About the Artists · About this Magazine

Stories

Poems

Editorial & Letters


Planet Magazine: Anti-Botox for Your Brain Wrinkles!

Gamma Craze

As a child I dreamed of being exposed to gamma rays, so that I too could mutate and develop super powers. Preferrably, these powers would involve radioactivity. Ideally, I would project a visible, greenish aura. But my dream was just that — a dream, as I noted several words earlier. Until… one day, during the height of the Tech bubble, when I was a day trader buying and selling penny stocks randomly and raking in the cash, I accidentally liquidated all my positions and cashed out completely from the stock market. Made an unbelievable fortune. Guess I hit the wrong button. So, since I wasn’t sure I could remember how to open up my trading accounts again — it had been several weeks since I started trading in stocks, after all — I decided I would do something different with my money. And then I recalled my dream. To be exposed to gamma rays. To become a mutant. To become something greenish and POWERFUL.

And when you wish hard enough for something, it usually happens. Like when you let yourself consciously think of aliens, it’s only a matter of time before you’re being levitated out through your bedroom window one night by the blue-white, smoke-tinged beam of an arc lamp. It also helps to have hundreds of millions of dollars to spend if you really want something done. So it wasn’t long before I was able to build a private spaceship with a high-end gamma-ray detector. Finally, after clearing governmental red tape (which had been strung across the launch pad, in a pathetic attempt to stop me), I swanned off into outer space, now nearly penniless, looking for the rays. This was my one, big chance.

And I found them. They entered my ship as I swung around the Sun one Thursday afternoon, easily passing through the interior wood-paneled walls of my craft. And they looked just like phantom-white <product placement>Tylenol Gelcaps</product placement>, only completely different. And then each gamma ray gelcap-like bullet passed through my body, leaving smoking non-holes, as if I were some bizarre humanoid Swiss cheese. The mutation had begun.

Upon arriving back on what you mortals once called Earth, but which I have named The Lair, I began using my powers — as you all know. Unfortunately, my powers seemed to be uneven. I soon discovered that the Swiss-cheese-hole pattern of the gamma rays that had hit my body was reflected in my powers — for example, if I shot a levitation ray at a criminal, he could easily squirm around while in its clutches and drop down through one of the ray’s holes, potentially escaping. This made it very difficult to charge for my superhero services, and my financial situation was becoming dire. After visiting my Superherologist and undergoing extensive testing, I was shocked to learn that I had mutated only where the rays had penetrated my body, and that any part of me that had not been hit by the gamma radiation was still mortal. This meant that one day, parts of my body would die, and decompose, while the rest of me — probably cylindrical cross sections — would remain immortal, but unaware, and probably just laying on the ground somewhere.

And so I faced my greatest enemy: a lack of cash with which to build a new spaceship and obtain a thorough gamma-ray bath. I was in total despair. But then, one fine day, something happened that was so incredible, that so neatly tied together every problem I had and put it into a completely satisfying package, that I was simply unable to come up with it before the deadline for this editorial arrived. I take solace in the fact that perhaps no one, not even a Super One, could persuasively have accomplished this feat.

Gamma, Gamma, Hey!
Andrew G. McCann
May 2002

Editor’s Notes:
Planet Magazine author Tony Chandler has won the prestigious 2002 EPPIE award for Science Fiction for his book Mothership. MotherShip also won the 2002 CLARA. The book also was an Indie Award Finalist. For details on the book, visit http://www.tonychandler.com

The following link will take you to a recent, interesting article on SF that appeared in Writer’s Digest. http://writersdigest.com/articles/tips/what_is_science_fiction.asp?secondarycategory=Fiction+Subhome+Page

Letters to the Editor

Dear Editor: I just wanted to take the opportunity to introduce my book, entitled This Stirring Strife. Published online in December 2001 by www.booklocker.com, this is a tale of adventure and intrigue in the late 28th century. The Holy Realm of Achernar is butting heads with the powerful Terran Concordium, leading to an interstellar war. Several small nations, such as the Republic of Sagittarius, are caught in between. It falls to several people — an ambassador, two news men, a female fighter pilot, and a husband-and-wife spy team — to save their own people. At the same time, one young Achernite captain finds himself questioning the authority of his theocratic state. Check out the book at the link above; enter your e-mail address and receive a free excerpt the book.
Sincerely,
Steve Rzasa

Dear Editor: I have a Bring Back ‘V’ petition at http://www.petitiononline.com/julietp1/petition.html
Tamie

Dear Editor: My name is Charles Acree with the World Authors Showcase. Our site was created to replace the Amazing Authors Showcase after the untimely death of the site’s creator, Pepper Raines. Our site is designed to give writers of all genres a place on the Web where there work can be viewed. One of the things lost with Ms. Raines’ passing were the submission guidelines used to join AAS. While scanning different sites on the Web, I found your submission guidelines to be excellent. I would like your permission to borrow some of the phrasing from your site to use on ours. I would be happy to feature a link to your site on our Directory of Links page regardless.
Thanks for the consideration.
Charles A. Acree
World Authors ShowcaseWorldAuthorsShowcase.com

Dear Editor: Paula Guran has re-launched her long-established horror and dark literature Web site, DARKECHO HORROR (http://www.darkecho.com). Scores of professional book reviews, articles, and interviews with authors such as of Clive Barker, Peter Straub, Neil Gaiman, Joyce Carol Oates, and many others are now included on DarkEcho Horror. The site, first launched in 1995 as DarkEcho’s Horror Web, incorporates all of the content originally produced (1996-1998) for pioneering professional Web publication OMNI Online (now a static site). Guran produced the literature section of Universal Studios’ HorrorOnline beginning in October 1998 and continuing in a monthly format through the spring of 2001. HorrorOnline no longer exists, so most of Guran’s work — monthly interviews, essays, and reviews — are also on the re-launched site. Reviews and articles from other sources are also now online at DarkEcho Horror. Guran’s new design for DarkEcho Horror incorporates artwork by the noted artist Rick Berry
Paula Guran

Dear Editor: The Spacejetters Web site includes SF art galleries, virtual museum, top 100 SF movies, free SF screensavers, etc.
Best regards
Mike Hendersonwww.spacejetters.co.uk

Dear Editor: Firebrand Fiction is proud to announce our debut interview, now posted in the interviews section of SFReader.com. Our guest is Darrell Schweitzer (http://www.sfreader.com/darrell_schweitzer.asp), SF writer, archivist, and editor supreme! Click over for an encounter with a SF legend, who’s had over 250 short stories published and is co-editor of one of the longest-running print SF magazines, Weird Tales. Firebrand Fiction is an ever-expanding review source for short SF fiction, available at SFReadercom. Peruse our debut, bi-weekly column and then click back often to catch “surprise” offerings, like our upcoming bonus-review of Black Gate. SFReader.com is an outstanding new resource for SF fans, editors, and writers.
Best Wishes,
Daniel E. Blackstonhttp://www.sfreader.com/

Dear Editor: The Dragon*Con 2002 Art Show will be held August 30 to Sept. 2, 2002, as part of Dragon*Con, which is one of the largest annual Science Fiction and Fantasy theme conventions in the world. This year the Art Show, Artist Bazaar, Print Shop, and Digital Art Section will be located in the Atlanta Marriott Marquis. The Dragon*Con 2002 Art Show is a very large and diverse event. We will also have our first convention inside a convention: the First Annual Renderosity convention! We are planning many exciting events for the Dragon*Con 2002 Art Show, including the 2nd annual Iron Artist contest, a large canvas that all the artists can work on (which will be sold at auction), an art jam, demos, how-to’s, and other wonderful items. The Dragon*Con 2002 Artist Guest of Honor is Alex Grey (http://www.alexgrey.com). To reserve your space go to http://www.dragoncon.org. We have also posted the entire Dragon*Con 2002 Art Show registration package on this Yahoo Group at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/SciFiFantasyHorrorSpace_ArtShows/.
Patrick Roberts
Dragon*Con Art Show Director

Dear Editor: I was just link-checking my site and was happy to find that not only was the link to one of my stories still valid, but that your magazine is still up and more than alive. As before, my compliments!
F. Alexander Brejcha
Brejcha disABILITY Resource Site
http://www.netreach.net/~abrejcha

Dear Editor: Recently you have published an excerpt (“The Flower and The Sentinal”) from one of my Science Fantasy books, “Eye & Sword”. Please note that my Web site, Dark-Print, has changed location to http://www.stevedavison.co.uk/dark-print/. Please could you pass this on to your readers.
Thanks,
Steve

Dear Editor: The What is Speculative Fiction? article is now live on GreenTentacles, at http://www.greententacles.com/article.php?cid=5&aid=26. As a part of our ongoing mission, with the help of others in the speculative fiction industry, we try to define the genre, in this living article.
Cordially,
Nathan E. Lilly

Dear Editor: My new science fiction/romance novel, “The Reclamation Project”, describes how the legendary Library of Knowledge has been discovered deep beneath the sands of Egypt in the Giza Plateau. The scrolls and tablets within promise to reveal the secrets of the universe… but they also foretell of the necessity of a human-key to fully unlock the power of the pyramids. When it is discovered that the human-key may mean an ancient Egyptian pharaoh, modern-day scientists set about cloning two of them. As the translations progress, however, it becomes apparent that these lost writings contain revelations that parallel the biblical prophecies. Did the Sons of God spoken of in the book of Genesis truly marry the ‘Daughters of Man?” Were these entities angels? Or could they have been a race of highly advanced extra-terrestrials? Before long the realization dawns that modern man may have overstepped the delicate balance between God and nature… and that perhaps some secrets are better left undiscovered. Additional information can be viewed at my Web site: http://home.earthlink.net/~rthegreat
Sincerely,
Ruth Marie Davis

Dear Editor: In reference to your story “Sidetracked” in Planet Magazine No. 7 (http://www.planetmag.com/pm7/sidetrak.htm), you know as well as I that Project Looking Glass has distinct origins, as Lazar of S4/Groom Lake fame has told; nothing there you made up, or at another time and place can pretend was never said. I just now wonder, if the time line continues with someone being able to know all of the somewhens within his (or her) own mind as they have passed them, then all the possibilities must still exist to be true, which is a real double-whammy for poor reality, which tries to just exist on its own without being manipulated. And that we creatures would just leave these things well enough alone and would not try to ditch the aliens by going through these portals, so we could keep their stupid toys, because they may seem so cool to play with and because some of us like to roll the dice. As Einstein said, “God does not play dice.” But in this case we would be fool enough to, finally, tear the fabric of space enough to realize we never even existed, all of us, and we are to never realize anything again.
Francis

Dear Editor: I was delighted to read Mr. Esparrago’s poem and see his artwork at http://www.etext.org/Zines/planet/pm32/bowling.html. The Deep Space 1 encounter with comet Borrelly inspired many people (including myself!) in many ways, and I am very happy that he was able to create an artistic interpretation of it. I don’t know whether you have visited the DS1 Web site at http://nmp.jpl.nasa.gov/ds1. You may find many stirring aspects of this remarkable mission there. Congratulations on Mr. Esparrago’s fine work!
Sincerely,
Marc Rayman
DS1 Project Manager

Dear Editor: It seems like a major embarassment to see all the major SF magazines like Asimov’s, Analog, and Magazine of F&SF never have the power of Planet Magazine. To compare you to the magazines, the so-called “major magazines” never have the great originality of you guys. The so-called “SF magazines” seem to have stories that are mostly dominated by fantasy fiction and stale, dull and typical SF stories. You guys stand up for what the readers originally want: action and adventure.
Keep up the good work!
G. Hurtado

Dear Editor: I have a new book out about the late science fantasy author, A. E. van Vogt, titled A. E. van Vogt: Science Fantasy’s Icon (ISBN 1-59113-054-9), and it is available in e-book and print-on-demand formats. My book page address is: http://www.booklocker.com/bookpages/vogt.html
Sincerely,
H. L. Drake

Dear Editor: I use my palm device to read books, mags, etc. I came across your magazine by linking to it from Strange Horizons. I converted the pages to a palm doc file and read it from my PDA. I’ve done this for issues 32 and 33. If you don’t mind, I was going to make these available at Memoware (http://www.memoware.com/). These are plain text versions of these issues; obviously the pictures cannot be included. I think Planet Magazine is fantastic. I love the tongue-in-cheek style, hamfisted tales, etc. I think others would as well, so I would enjoy converting other issues to palm doc format. Strange Horizons also makes their articles available monthly at the Fictionwise Web site (http://www.fictionwise.com/). They are free, and once you subscribe, you get them automatically. Maybe you could do likewise with Planet Magazine.
Sincerely,
Brian Athey

[Editors Note: The issues converted by Brian are now available at Memoware. We will also be providing them on the Planet site, through a link on our home page, at http://www.planetmag.com. Look for the Planet in Other Formats link. Some of the early issues of Planet already were in Palm format (.prc files) and can be found through this link.]

Letters to Numbers

Dear The Steps of AA: I have a complaint to make. Last month you recommended The Segway transport device. Well I ran out and bought one and spent all week trying it out. Imagine my dismay when the darn thing broke down in a rainstorm. Well there I was, trapped in my Segway for 3 hours until the paramedics were able to extract me using ”the jaws of life”, which I insisted on, as my foot was tangled in the handle of a shopping bag.
Obi-Wanna Krakker

Dear Highest Setting on Nigel Tufnel’s Amp Dial: I bought the new “The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Rings” DVD but will not be able to watch it. After purchasing it, I unwrapped it and pulled it out of its case; unfortunately, I was standing near the fireplace and in my excitement I fumbled the disk, sending it tumbling into the flames. When I pulled it out, it still felt fairly cool and I could see what looked like small, white Elvish script scratched into the innermost ring of the disks shiny side. Wasting no time, I quickly set off for Antartica, where I knew there was a year-round active volcano and where scientists (or should I say “I”) believe that the historical Mordor was located. After many days and days of misery (detailed in my proposed IMAX film of my trip, currently being potentially considered for optioning), I finally reached the lip of the volcano and flung the disk into the bubbling lava below, watching it burn up and curl into black smoke on the surface of Lava Lake. Fittingly, all this happened right after I fought off a strange, demonic creature from the nearby Russian base, who bit off my finger, while yelling: Give me the precioussss disssssk. Our next movie ssssshipment isssssnt for sssssix monthsssss. It’ssssss mine! Then he fell, or perhaps was pushed or kicked, into the lava lake below us and disappeared. Well, I suppose that could be murder on my part, technically speaking, but that’s not important right now. What is important is that I, like Frodo, have saved the world by preventing Sauron’s reawakening to power.
You’re Welcome,
Jimmy Baggins

Dear Bo Derek: I’ve eaten things you people wouldn’t believe… Cheeseburgers on fire off the shores of Miami. I’ve watched French fries glitter in the dark off of Tanners Bar & Grill. All those meals will be lost in time… like cake, in the rain. Time to eat lunch…
Repp Lee Kant

Dear That Mickey Rourke/Kim Basinger Film: This is a warning to your readers that Holodecks can be much more dangerous than you think, especially for those currently using virtual bodies. I’m in a virtual body right now, as my personality was transferred there while my real body is getting some nips and tucks. If I were to use a Holodeck in this condition, I run the risk of merging with whatever scenario is running and never coming back. This happened to Hollingsworth over in Accounting, back in ’09, and you can see him as one of the baseball fans in the classic Babe Ruth simulation. Sometimes you can almost get his attention, but that damn hot dog vendor always comes up and distracts him. This was hushed up by the Federation, but it’s all true.
Anonymous

Dear John Lennon’s Dream Song: You know why I’ve never won an Oscar? No, it’s not my lack of acting talent, nor is it the fact that I’ve never been in a movie, other than what might appear on any Dunkin’ Donuts security camera in the metropolitan New York area. No, the real reason is simple: racism. And I am talking about Racism in the largest sense. You Humans never write any good roles for aliens. The best we aliens can hope for are stock, simplistic nonspeaking parts, such as those found in “E.T.” or “Close Encounters of the Third Kind”. And when you do offer a speaking part, it’s often taken by a Human, such as Jeff Bridges in “Starman”, or any of the Human voices used for the many alien roles in children’s cartoons. Sure, you see relatively complex alien roles in “Star Wars” and “Star Trek”, but even those characters are usually one-note evil or good creatures who are portrayed by latex-slathered Humans, or even latex puppets! It’s been a long drought for us Aliens at the Oscars, and no doubt the wait will be longer still — especially since its not clear that we aliens actually exist. Well, maybe next year…
With My Full Range of One Emotion,
A. Lee N. Akkter

Dear That Autobiographical Fellini Film: I don’t get newspapers, by which I mean I don’t understand them, although I do receive them via subscription. On the other hand, I do “get” magazines, although I do not subscribe to any. And that is an important symmetry to have when writing such a mere bagatelle of a Fake Letter to the Editor as this.
Regards,
Neil B. Formee

Dear Dick Van Patten’s TV Kids: I am the owner of the coffee cart outside your place of work. I just want you to know that the coffee-flavored hot water I sell you every morning is now officially “Hot n Fresh”, which is a service-marked phrase we are committed to proudly displaying on a prominent sign. And you can take that to the bank! Also, the donuts we sell are now officially “Bak’d This Week”!, as another sign on the side of the cart will state. It’s a different world now, and we must all adapt to the new corporate-honesty fad, for now. Note: Once these signs fade due to exposure to the elements, as our crullers often do, we will toss them out, as we never do with our crullers — so see them while you can!
Sincerely,
N. Ron X. Ekutive

Dear James Bond: I am Darth Ewok, a horrible yet adorable monstrosity! How I loathe the whiny Luke Skywalker, the cinammon-bunned Princess Leia, and the pseudo-rasta Jar-Jar! Even so, I would willingly join a conga line with them. Such is the kind of conflicts we furry little Ewoks face once we join the Dark Side. Wait!! I sense a disturbance in the Force surrounding my refrigerator. Yesssss, the salami and cheese in there are strong, indeed. I find the lack of a sandwich in my stomach disturbing! I must go.
All Hail the Emperor!
Darth Ewok

Dear GE’s Sigma Quality Process: I am hoping that you will publish my new book, “The Story of a False English/Welsh Palindrome, Or: Ro, Emordnilap Hslew/Hsilgne Eslaf a fo Yrots Eht”. It’s not science fiction, and I’ve only written the title so far, but then, we don’t really need to go any further with this joke, do we? I will sign a fake name below, even though I do not exist. I guess we Welsh are a funny lot.
Cole Myner

Dear What Dave Brubeck Took: Sorrrrrrrrry if this letterrrr is smearrred. I prrrrressed the Send button just as I was stepping down frrrrom lightspeed. Either that, or my Cuban accent is rrrrrrrrrreally showing up in my typing. Or maybe I’m Scottish.
Engineer Rick E. “Rick” Ardo

Dear Stairway to Heaven LP: I am starting a lawsuit against disco music and those who encouraged and promoted it. They should have known at the time that what they were doing was wrong. And the fallout from disco, once that fad crashed, took a great toll on average Americans, who had invested their retirement savings in filling their closets with burnt-orange polyester leisure suits that became instantly unusable — what’s more, these suits didn’t even fit anymore when the ’70s Look came back in style about 20 years later!
L. “Lee” Ott-Spritzer

Dear Neo’s Girlfriend: I forget, what did we do in the office all day before the Internet came along? I know it wasn’t work. Wait — it was that solitaire game with the green background, wasn’t it?
I knew it!
N. Ron Hubbard.

Dear The Chief Interrogator and Administrator of ‘The Prisoner’: Denial is not a river in Egypt. “Denial” is a word meaning, among other things, a refusal to admit the truth or reality. The Nile, however, is indeed a river in Egypt. Just wanted to clear that up.
Regards,
Rhea Habb

Dear Editor: I just wanted to let your readers know that I am available to sing at weddings, bar mitzvahs, etc., for a reasonable fee. I do my own 1980s-style of stadium/synthesizer rock. Although I find it very, very difficult — nay, impossible — to hit all those hight notes, by god I try!
Darth Brooks

Planet: We comply with all rules for xhtml, x-ratedhtml, and xfileshtml.

About the Authors

Eric S. Brown (“The Tomb in the Stars”) is a 27-year-old writer living in western N.C. In the last 15 months, he has had 62 tales accepted by markets like Burning Sky, Black Satellite, Elements magazine, Dark Angel magazine, Black Petals, and Bloodmoon Rising, as well as in online markets like Horror Find, Sinisteria, and Demensions, to name a few. Eric has also sold 11 non-fiction articles, works as an editor at both The Swamp and Alternate Realities, is a book reviewer for The Haunted, a member of the HWA, and has served as a copy editor for a major newspaper in N.C. Currently, he is at work on his first collection of stories.
Web site: http://www.horrorseek.com/haunted/mag/ericsbrown.html

Christian M. Chensvold (“Tall, Dark, and Gruesome”) is a space-age bachelor who lives in Los Angeles, where he uses a bubble mask to keep from breathing the smog. His writing has appeared in “Outre´”, “ATOMIC”, “Robb Report”, “Poet”, and “Films in Review”. He is currently a contributing writer to the “Los Angeles Downtown News”.

Christopher Clagg (“Short Term“) lives in central Florida and works in retail these days, having retired from University work. He and his wife Beatrix have three sons, Ryan, who is now married and a new father at 22, Evan who is now a teenager at 13, and Dylan aged 10, who is preparing for the jump to Middle school after next year. Interests and hobbies include reading, writing, painting, sculpting, playing guitar, and listening to jazz and electronic synthesized music. As well as losing the ocassional game of chess to the computer, just for fun. :)

David Crane (“Circle in the Sand”, “Space Combat”) is 31 years old, with a Bachelor’s degree in Fine Arts and Graphic Design. He started writing three years ago. His hobbies include reading good science fiction, adventure, and fantasy books, and his favorite authors are Frank Herbert, J.R.R. Tolkien, Danielle Steele, Arthur C. Clarke, Ben Bova, and William C. Dietz. He also enjoys hiking, swimming, and tennis. His favorite pastime is to enjoy a good SF book with a glass of brandy and a good cigar.

Ray Dangel (Associate Editor and Staff Robot) believes that, at age 71, he’s the oldest published author in his family. Certainly the Planet staff will verify he holds the world title for orneriness. When he sets his mind on something, no evidence to the contrary will deter him. While testing his theory that time needn’t pass inevitably and irretrievably, but rather can be captured and stored until needed, Ray slept one hour less each day for 24 consecutive days. Each morning he leaped out of bed without turning on the light, hastily snatching up the unused hour of sleep and popping it into an old blue Milk of Magnesia jar he had saved since childhood for just such a special purpose. This grizzled geezer, with his usual attention to detail, placed a provision in his Last Will and Testament stating that, as his time nears, the blue bottle of Stored Time is to be kept next to his Hospital Death Bed at all times. The moment the attending physician declares Ray has passed away, the bottle is to be opened and the contents poured onto his bald forehead. That will be his Moment of Truth, and Ray fully expects to spring out of the Death Bed and frolic with the nearest nurse in a wild dance of victory over the Grim Reaper. He says his only regret is that he didn’t dream up this scheme decades ago so he could have saved up several cases of Stored Time. Well, you can’t do everything, Ray.

Romeo Esparrago (“Now Departing“, associate editor for all the white spaces between words) wears his emotions on his sleeve. People thinks he sneezed and wiped it there. Gesundheit.

Mark Greener’s (“Sinews of War“) day job is as a medical and bioscience writer, and he has published several non-fiction books. By night he writes reviews for SF magazines and publishes the occasional short story.

Jerry Johns (“9999“) is a college student from New York who dreams that one day he will be able to make a living as a writer of poetry and fiction.

Justin R. Lawfer (“Nighttime Terrors“) is a student at Edgewood College in Madison, WI. His work has appeared on http://dragonlaugh.freeyellow.com, http://www.pegasusonline.com, http://palaceofreason.com, and http://www.Spacerat.co.uk. He is a fan of giant-monster movies, Monty Python, and fantasy stories.

Andrew G. McCann (“Editorial & Letters“, Editor) is president of the American Society To Help Modify Aquaman. His organization believes that if this superhero would only agree to have his power changed by surgeons at the Superhero Construction University of Buenos Aires from “the ability to call fish” to “the ability to call and fry fish” (which would merely require some focused-microwave cranial implants), he could open a successful restaurant. This is a path with dignity and power. We know, because we had these same surgeons change our power from “the ability to edit a free SF zine” to “the ability to edit a free SF zine and fry fish”. And we’ve never looked back! (Although that could be due to the cranial implants, which are known to cause Stiff-Neck Syndrome.)
editor@planetmag.com

Edward McKeown (“New York Minute“) was born in NYC and moved to Charlotte in 1985, where he writes, teaches martial arts, and lives with his artist-wife Schelly Keefer. His work has been published in SF e-zines “Millennium”, “Planet Magazine”, “The Captain’s Log”, and the art newspaper “Independence Boulevard”. His short story “New York Minute” won first prize in the Canadian “X the Unknown” contest for 2000.

Hathno Paige (“UNE-IFAP“) is a sportscaster for ESPN-43, where he specializes in the ball-peen hammer throw and Cheerio-skeet shooting.

Gary Piserchio and Frank Tagader (“Conspicuous Consumption”) have been lifelong buddies for over 10 years now. Both were regrettably technical writers for a time. Frank now torments tech writers as their manager, while Gary has retired to the suburbs of Denver until his savings run out and he has to go be a tech writer again. He dreads this inevitability. They also try to write fiction when they can.

William Alan Rieser (“Fetish” and “Menky’s Folly“), born in New York City, less than 3 miles from the World Trade Center, originally was a musician and spent many years composing, conducting, teaching, and performing music on the East Coast. His earliest writing influences were Tolkien, H.G. Wells, Jules Verne, Ray Bradbury, Isaac Asimov, and Poul Anderson. He is now retired in Fort Worth, Texas, with his wife, Sandra, who edits his writings and doesn’t give him the slightest break on syntax or style, even though he expresses nought but loving thoughts to her. For several years he experimented with short stories for SF/F e-zines but now prefers to concentrate on more developed themes. In this last year, he published “The Kaska Trilogy” and “The Chronicles of Zusalem” via Writers Club Press, an organization associated with iUniverse and Barnes and Noble. His latest novel, “Luna Parabella“, has received a rave review at Amazon.com. Many other novels have been completed and are awaiting publication, such as “Furnace” and “Luna Parabella”. His articles, humorous and serious, are popping up everywhere, especially in his column at scifantastic. Currently, he is working on a mainstream novel and promises a mystery. He enjoys talking to writers, novice or professional, and encourages contact.
Web site: http://rieserbooks.homestead.com/rieserbooks.html

E.S. Strout (“The Net“) has been published in small-press print magazines “Crossroads”, “Lovecraft’s Mystery Magazine”, “Fading Shadows”, “Mad Scientist”, and “Millennium Science Fiction and Fantasy Magazine”. His stories have also appeared in the Internet publications “Jackhammer”, “Beyond s-f”, “Millennium SF&F”, and “Demensions”. E.S. Strout is on the faculty of the U.C. Irvine Medical Center, where he teaches skin pathology to dermatology residents.

Thomas Wagner (Associate Editor) believes that while truth is stranger than fiction, fiction is more true than strange, and strange people write fiction though they often may not tell the truth. But most important, you should never, ever, under any circumstances try to snort a snake through your nose with the head-end first. That stuff is just plain weird.

Fred D. White (“Spacetime Flickers“) teaches composition and literature at Santa Clara University. In addition to publishing scholarly articles that nobody reads, he has published fiction in CONFRONTATION and OTHER VOICES — and there is some indication that these stories have been read.

Jeffrey L. Williams (“A Man Searching“) is currently employed as a computer network administrator in Winston-Salem, North Carolina, USA. Science fiction has been an avid hobby of his for many years, but only recently has he begun to put his own thoughts to paper. For Jeffrey, writing is a definite rush, allowing him to express ideas that, frankly, would earn him strange looks around the office.

Planet Says: Revenge is a dish best served with cold cuts!

About the Artists

Kenn Brown (art for “Cover” and “Spacetime Flickers“) was thinking back on the morning of September 11th, his birthday: “Every day since that tragedy I have been filled with a sense of anxiety, and urgency. Two weeks later, on September 26th, I walked into my company of employment and handed in my resignation. Those feelings have still not fully gone away but I am filled with a new sense of purpose. I still wonder if I made the right choice, but every time I finish an illustration, I get a sense of satisfaction I have never achieved with any previous job, creative or otherwise. Just before writing this, I picked out an old dog-eared copy of OMNI to take to bed with me and opened it up to “Count the Clock that tells Time”, by Harlan Ellison. This is a copy I bought when I was 15 years old (20 years ago!) and yet I never recalled reading this particular story — very strange. Having finished it.. I understand now why I never started it. I get this sense that it has been sitting there patiently, waiting for me to discover it — along with the rest of my dreams I packed away so many years ago.”

Ken has been working on Macintosh and PC platforms for a little over 11 years. He spent four years studying illustration and design at the Ontario College of Art and Design in his native Toronto before moving on to Vancouver, British Columbia, where he has lived (on and off) for the last 10 years. He spent some time working on video games in Las Vegas and hanging out on the beach in LA, only to return to his beloved Vancouver and his dream of becoming a Science Fiction illustrator.
Web site: http://www.kontent-online.com

ehrad (art for “The Tomb in the Stars“) is a photo-retoucher by trade, and an otherwise “kook” by nature, but that’s O.K. Both qualities bring out the artist in me. Aside from creating Spacecraft when I can, I am also working on a full length sci-fi adventure comic, to be published in 2003, called ‘Eraduon’: eraduon-prebirth.com Of all the people, including publishers who have looked at it, all have said it an absolutely Wild, twisty turny voyage into the psyche, and can best be described as a “Comic book novel, with all the stops pulled out!” It will be published electronically and in print…. And on the other side, I’d like to thank Planet magazine for being so kind. They are the BEST.

Jon Eke (art for “Nighttime Terrors” and “Short Term“) was born in 1967 in Amersham, north of London, and grew up in the Midlands before moving to Merseyside in 1986, where he currently works in the operating theatres at the local NHS hospital. Apart from computer art, his other main hobbies are astronomy, photography, and writing highly personal science fiction tales. Among his favourite writers he includes J.G. Ballard, James Tiptree Jr, Cordwainer Smith, Philip K Dick, Samuel Delany, Barry Malzberg, William Burroughs, Robert Aickman, Ramsey Campbell, Clark Ashton Smith, and H.P. Lovecraft (actually, if the truth be told, he’s top of the list). Jon is also a member of the Ghost Story society and his main ambition in life is to write just one truly successful ghost story. If he manages that, he’ll die a happy man!.

Romeo Esparrago (Graphics Hip Grinder, art for “Fetish“, “Menky’s Folly“, “Now Departing“, and “Tall, Dark, and Gruesome“) wishes Samuel L. Jackson used more @#$%&*! profanity in his role as a Jedi in “Attack of the Clones”. It would have added depth & richness to the role. Example: “This *&%$#@! party is over, mother@%#$&!!”. Speaking of which, check out Romeo’s 12″ action figure version of the man: http://www.romedome.com/company_of_plastic_heroes/samuel_l_jackson/
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Senthil GK (art for “A Man Searching“), having done his degree in Applied Art from Chitra Kala Parishat, Bangalore, realized that he needed to do something that interested him more, things like character design, comic illustration, and animation. For this to materialize, joining “National Institute of Design” India, became his dream. He was lucky and his hard work paid off. He completed his diploma at “National Institute of Design” with specialization in Animation Film Design. Currently, he works as a senior creative designer with Communication Design Group, Infosys Technologies Ltd. Involved in visualizing and developing graphics for in-house Multimedia presentations, product demos, simulation software, UI design for Web, Posters, animation, and video and for different media. He pursues his interest in creative work with dedication. Basically, his fields of interest are after-death phenomena, psychology, Pain, science fiction, and character design. There is no out-burst of happiness and well-being. Most of his works are an explosion of the internal pain which ultimately brings in the artistic pleasure through an intricate balance, and he likes to explore the other “ends” or the opposites.

Carl Goodman (art for “Conspicuous Consumption“; animation and art for “UNE-IFAP“) is an unrepentant Brit on the wrong side of forty living in Surrey, England. He started as a traditional graphic designer in the days when hot metal type was still being used for newspapers. His first encounter with computers was, bizarrely, writing databases for a retail company (he’s still not entirely sure how this happened). He began working with computer graphics in the late 1980s, and has still not been able to kick the habit. At 105 kilos, he thinks it’s fairly safe to say he’s an industry heavyweight.
Web-site: www.peppersghost.com

Rick Hudson (art for “The Net“) has been illustrating books, magazines, and presentations for ad agencies since 1995. Visit RICK’s SKETCHBOOK (http://home.earthlink.net/~rhudson1877) to see his latest work. Among his major clients are Niche Publications, Gryphon Books, and Cole & Company of Boston. He is currently one of two senior partners at RAWSHARK STUDIOS (http://www.rawshark.com), a collaborative art endeavor encompasing everything from comic books to sculpture.

Andy Miller (art for “Circle in the Sand“) is currently working in the mountains of central Virginia. He is a writer, artist, and composer.

Georgi Ostashov (art for “Sinews of War” and “Space Combat“) was born in St. Petersburg, Russia, and is currently living in Denmark. He has always been interested in different kinds of visual art, and when he discovered Photoshop, it gave him a whole new perspective on the art-creation process. It allows him to work on the image in less time and with far more control than it would take using traditional techniques. Georgi’s works may be characterized as digital mixtures made from painting, drawing, photos, and media experimentation. Artists that inspire him are: Miran Kim, H.R. Giger, Francis Bacon, Dali, Aivazovsky, and J.M.W. Turner. Despite the fact that most of his works have a gloomy atmosphere, it does not mean he is some kind of psycho or a devil worshiper. He just believes that one of the greatest things about art is that it gives us the ability to see, imagine, and feel things in a certain way. In his case, it’s the way he sees the transformation of these things into dark, brutal, and surreal visions.
Web site: http://www.home13.net/

Patrick Stacy (art for “9999” and “New York Minute“), like many before, started young. His main emphasis in childhood was in comics. Never content, the challenge was then to illustrate freehand — now that would be talent. Early influences are still inspirational today, such as the legendary Frazetta, Vallejo, and Parrish. Classical influences were Rubens and Caravaggio. Stacy was winner of the L.Ron Hubbard’s Illustrators of the Future contest in 1996 and has two illustrations within the volume.

Life is like a Jawa Sandcrawler full of droids — you never know what you’re gonna get.

About this Magazine (Masthead)


Planet Magazine: Recommended by R2D2 and MP3!

Planet Magazine, Vol. 9, No. 2 (the 34th issue)

Home Site: http://www.planetmag.com

Mirror Site: http://www.etext.org/Zines/planet

Lord Wizard
Andrew G. McCann
editor@planetmag.com

Exalted Ornamentalist
Romeo Esparrago

Royal Scrivener and Staff Robot
Ray Dangel

Bard of the Empire
Tom Wagner

What In The World Is Planet Magazine?
Planet Magazine is the free, award-winning quarterly Web-zine of short science fiction and fantasy by emerging writers and digital artists, whom we hope to encourage in their pursuit of the perfect tale or illustration. There could be other reasons we’re doing this, of course, motivations that are obscure and uncomfortable; instincts linked perhaps to primal, nonreasoning urges regarding power and procreation — the very same forces, no doubt, that sank the Atlanteans and their alabaster-towered oceanic empire. And the Dark Gods laffed.

Planet has been available electronically via the World-Wide Web (see the clickable links at the top of this page) and Tin-Foil-Hat Receptron since January 1, 1994. Total circulation is “thousands ‘n’ thousands” per issue worldwide. Feel free to download this zine or make a single printout, as long as you don’t charge for it or alter it in any way. That would be illegal and “not nice.” Submissions are welcomed (see below). Planet does not carry advertising or offer a subscription service, but issues are always available at our Web site, with new ones published every March 1, June 1, September 1, or December 1 (or thereabouts). Letters to the editor are encouraged and are likely to be printed.

Guidelines For Submissions
Planet accepts original, unpublished short science fiction and fantasy stories and poems, as well as digital art, from anyone famous or unfamous (use the lengths in any recent issue as a guideline). We are open to the experimental but will not publish anything we judge to be porno, gore, or in violation (as far as we are able to tell) of any copyrights (such as stories that use Star Trek, Star Wars, or Babylon 5 characters). Since Planet is free and carries no ads, we can’t pay anything except the spirit-sustaining currency of free publicity and life-enhancing good vibes. For full details on submitting stories, poems, or artwork, please visit:
http://www.planetmag.com/submit.htm.

* E-mail text submissions as plain, unformatted files (either as an e-mail attachment or, if short enough, in the body of the e-mail message) to editor@planetmag.com. One submission at a time, please. Two submissions max.

* E-mail illustration submissions separately as e-mail attachments, but Stuff or Zip them first. Alternatively, you could send the URL for an image, and we can go look at it. Images should be 256-color, 16-color, 16-gray, or B&W GIFs or JPEGs only. Send any questions about illustrations to editor@planetmag.com.

Distribution Sites
Planet Magazine is distributed only in Web (HTML) format, which can be read best with any version 3.0 or above Web browser, such as Netscape Navigator, Internet Explorer, Opera, NeoPlanet, iCab, or OmniWeb. Earlier issues of Planet are also available at our Web site in four other electronic formats: text (.txt) for any PC or Mac word-processing program; Acrobat (.pdf), a full-color version for PC or Mac using the free Acrobat Reader); DocMaker, a full-color, self-running file with sounds for Mac only; and Palm (.prc), a text version that requires a Palm PDA and a DOC reader like the freeware CSpotRun. The main place to find Planet is on the Web, either at our home page http://www.planetmag.com or our mirror site http://www.etext.org/Zines/planet.

Copyrights & Disclaimers
Planet Magazine as a whole, including all text, design, and illustrations, is copyright © 2002 by Andrew G. McCann. However, all individual stories and poems in this magazine are copyright © 2002 by their respective authors or artists, who have granted Planet Magazine the right to use these works for this issue in both electronic form and any resulting print-outs by readers for noncommercial, individual use. All people and events portrayed in this magazine are entirely fictitious and bear no resemblance to actual people or events. This publication, along with every past issue of Planet Magazine, is registered with the Copyright Office of the U.S. Library of Congress. Since our first issue, dated January 1994, Planet Magazine has been freely available via the Internet and has consistently used the names “Planet Magazine”, “PlanetZine”, “PlanetMag,” and “McCann’s Planet Magazine” to refer to itself. You may freely distribute this magazine electronically on a noncommercial, nonprofit basis to anyone and print one copy for your personal use, but you may not alter or excerpt Planet in any way without direct, written permission from the publisher, who can be contacted at editor@planetmag.com. Any unauthorized access, reproduction, or transmission of Planet Magazine, in whole or part, is strictly prohibited by U.S. federal law and international copyright law. Planet Magazine is published by Cranberry Street Press, Garden City, N.Y., USA, Andrew G. McCann, publisher.

Colophon
This issue was created with Adobe GoLive 6.0, Graphic Converter 4.1, Painter 4, and BBEdit X on an iMac DV running Max OS X. The Planet Magazine logo was designed by Romeo A. Esparrago, Jr., using “Startling” by Dave Bastian, at http://www.davebastian.com/. (Previous logotypes were in Arquitectura and Times New Roman). The text typeface is Arial, and in some older issues Helvetica or Geneva. Please visit the guest artists’ Web pages to learn about the tools they used for their illustrations. Each issue of Planet is marinated for 72 hours in a broth of Womprat musk and hubba gourds to assure Jawa-like perfection.

Planet Magazine ISSN: 1526-1840.