Originally published on the classic Planet Magazine site (planetmagazine.com) and moved here from that archive in October 2026.
by Andrew G. McCann
Inspired by The SciFaiku Manifesto
Poems are listed by category, with later poems simply plonked on top.
All poems and illustrations on this page are copyright 1995-2004 by Andrew G. McCann, except where noted otherwise, and may not be excerpted without prior written permission from the author.
Also visit: Planet Magazine
Latest Poems
2010
Steamjunk
SteamGoogle alerts
sent via pneumatic tube
a paper blizzard
2002
MANSTER
The brilliant machine
and its beautiful android
create a human
MONSTER’S FRANKENSTEIN
The genius monster
and his gorgeous assistant
create a doctor
DEVOUR
by Romeo Esparrago and Andrew G. McCann
They were holy, kind
praying with our innocents
for galactic peace
We let them all in
transported by their stories
one by one they struck
false their cloak of trust
dread hunters from the abyss
dark walks among us
BASHO FROGGO
Blast of a shotgun
ripples in pond
frog’s legs… yum!
HAIKU-SCHMAIKU HAIKU
5, 7, 5: So?
Syllables are silly bull
Yet I still conform
SHARKU
The shark ate my leg
That’s OK, I have one more
Oops, he ate that too
EXO-ARMOR (FutureWarKu)
Batteries are dead
Dawn breaks on the battlefield
Trapped in a barrel
TOLKU
INTREPID HOBBIT
(The Council of Elrond Convenes)
Behold brave Frodo
Ring-bearer, bound for Mordor
Better him than me
SAM’S DARKEST HOUR
Oh, Mr. Frodo!
Sir, watch out for that Gollum!
Cripes, this ain’t worth it…
BASTARD SAURON
That bastard Sauron
Lording it over us all!
Him and his damn “Eye”
SARUMAN’S LAMENT
Consider the Orc:
Brutal, fetid, and hairy!
Just like my ex-wife
SARUMAN THE CHEF
Turkey bred with Orc
Let’s gobble-gobble Goblin!
Where’s my spoon ‘n’ fork?
STUPID BREE INKEEPER
FORGOT GANDALF’S MESSAGE
Old Barliman says
“One thing drives out another.”
That’s no excuse, pal!
POOR TOM
Poor Tom Bombadi
You were cut from the movie
just because you’re gay
THE DRAGON
Ancient, evil Smaug
fire-breathing town-eater
may your farts explode
2001
PAINT THE PLANET RED
I have been to Mars:
there’s no night-life at all, yet…
the mornings are fierce
1999
CORYTHOSAURUS RANCH
How now, brown dino?
Plucked from the late Cretaceous
Who knew? Delicious!
TROKAR ‘POEM’
by Trokar
Me, Trokar, no understand this poetry.
Weak!!!
Prefer smashing, crushing, eating things!!!!
Grrrrrrr
[Note: “This apparent poem was found among the imploded ruins of Lunar University in the fall of 2151 by Space Marines Inquisitor Tom Wagner, who was investigating the tragic accident for the Terran Imperial Government. It is believed that Trokar, a member of the vicious Krapslapp race from Sleetoh IV, who was captured in the Second Glomfaarg Wars, was an indentured freshman taking LU’s Poetry 101 class for alien immigrants as part of his indoctrination into Terran culture. This poem is the only surviving document from the LU Disaster. Mysteriously, the only body not accounted for was that of Trokar himself. Interestingly, S.M. Inq. Wagner, a seasoned veteran of the Second Glomfaarg Wars, steadfastly maintained through the rest of his life that the document he found was not a poem by Trokar but in fact a threat, which subsequently had been carried out. However, Krapslapp literary scholars dismiss this theory, agreeing that Trokar ‘Poem’ is an alien masterpiece.” – Excerpt from “Alien Literature Abducted and Dissected,” by Imperial Poet Laureate Andrew G. McCann IV, A.D. 3001.]
(c) 1999 by Tom Wagner and Andrew G. McCann
FUGITIVE
Babysnatchers flee through black holes,
Cutthroats withdraw through worm holes,
I seize a new body and stay.
JELLY MAN
a clerihew inspired by T.Miller
Up from deep-dark depths floats a slimy thing
Jelly Man, what sad tales do you bring?
Tentacled, suction-cup eyes accuse me
My fish spear has killed a Jelly baby
(c) 1999 by Romeo E. Esparrago and Andrew G. McCann
1998
SNOWORLD
Rocket flames dwindle
in endless ammonia storms
No more supply ships
MONSTERKU
Snout brushes the clouds
Jets offer bullet garlands
Godzilla’s foot falls
Up there! Gamera:
Giant, jet-propelled turtle.
Quick! My camera…
IF THIS IS TUESDAY…
So this is Day One,
When the Earth coalesces.
How hot. How boring.
TIGER
A rust-striped tiger,
Leaps across a swift red stream
In Mars’ new jungle
The above scifaiku won First Place in poetry in the November 1998 contest by “Writer’s Challenge”.
ASSASSINS
Viral assassins
Waft past Earth’s arcologies,
Silently starving
BEAUTIFUL ACCIDENT
Down into Saturn
Golden cliffs spiral upwards.
Diamond windshield cracks
Categories
(the following poems were written from 1995-1997)
APOCALYPSE
ANGRY SCIENTIST
My Moon-based Death Ray
Panics the people of Earth.
Mock my theories now!
The above poem is featured on Ander’s Mad Scientist Page
PEACEMAKER
“Peacemaker” deploys,
Nine billion people blink, and
Only God remains
THE STARS HAVE GONE DARK
The stars have gone dark,
Above this last Human fort.
Somewhere, there is peace.
The above poem was featured in Delos Magazine
LAST TO LEAVE
I, the Last to Leave,
Shed my still-dripping gill-suit
And board “The Ark II”
CHILDREN OF THE BOMB
Children of The Bomb
Pick at broken-toothed cities
In June’s wintry fist
LAST-MINUTE NUKE STRIKE
Last-minute nuke strike
Called off as diplomats meet
At last! War Is Ov-
HARVEST
Silver sky-flowers
Hail us on all frequencies
Upturned faces shine
The air ships blossom:
Electro-magnetic pulse
Flesh-eating nanos
Ranch homes stand empty
Gray forms crawl across a yard
A TV shows snow
The redwoods are mulched
Uprooted seas distilled, stored
Spore ships float away
SOLAR STATION
Laser link to Earth
is shattered by solar flares.
Who will warn them now?
Here on Mercury’s Dark Side
I will be first to feel it.
The above is a “tanka” poem I wrote in 1995. Tanka is an unrhymed Japanese verse-form poem consisting of five lines that contains 5-7-5-7-7 syllabic structure.
CYBERPUNK
GET ME EYES!
“Get me eyes!” Doc begs.
So in this neon alley,
I will rob you blind.
The above poem was featured in Delos Magazine
BLUE BIRDS
Blue birds trill adverts
In the steel trees of Times Square.
My virt-lover laughs.
The above poem is featured in Scifi.com’s SciFaiku Gallery from SCIFI.CON 98.
BACK DOOR
I found a back door
A room called “Cryo-Storage”
I fled back to Virt
SUBWAY HOLO-AD…AND AFTER
“Bossbot got you down?
Partner doesn’t understand?
Then choose a new you!
“Visit EYE-DOT-COM
Upflash to your Pers-OS
Just Ninety Credits!”
…
I’m shy at parties
So I let my Speaker speak
Its stories sparkle
…
I order new parts
My relationship grows stale
I order new parts
NOIRKU: LOST IN MOONPORT
Lost in MoonPort, my
Flesh seared by crooked cops’ guns.
Another wrong turn.
LOCAL SPACE
DEEP-OCEAN ROBOTS
Deep-ocean robots
Puncture the seabed’s rich veins
The Old One wakens
SAW I WAS
Saw I was
Neil A., Alien
Moon, no OM
THE CARBON MINER
The carbon miner’s
blood-red drillship crept toward
the lone blue planet
GRAY LUNAR HILLS
The gray lunar hills
embrace your mirrored faceplate
I explore two worlds
ABDUCTING HUMANS
Abducting humans
Has bored the alien, who
Yearns for a new post
MARS
ESCAPE
To leave Mars’ death camps,
I gave my brain to this ship
Stars taste like champagne
RICH ON MARS
Rich, we live on Mars
But, for once, I’d like some food
That isn’t cultured
MISCELLANEOUS
FAIRY TALE
People did not live
Happily ever after
Once upon a time
OTHER WORLDS
EXPLORER
On a torch of flame,
John Smith went searching for Earth
And never came back
CREATION
Tiny swirling suns
In microscopic blackness:
My first universe!
COMEDIAN
The comic from Earth
Complains about spaceline food.
The bored crowd eats him
GETTING OLD
Don’t see Saturn much
Heck, can’t get past Jupiter
Time for a new pod
EARTH REDISCOVERED!
Earth Rediscovered!
One-way tickets free — for now
We’ll plant apple trees
STAR CRUISE
The light-yacht’s field pings
Laughter dies as we cruise past
Pieces of lost Earth.
The above poem was featured at the SciFaiku Booth at scifi.com’s SCIFI.CON 96.
HARVESTING THE RINGS
Harvesting the rings
Arteries of fireflies
Saturn looms darkly
SPHERE
Lifeless Dyson’s sphere
Drowned in the infinite sea
Shrouds a bloody pearl
REBELLION
At the empire’s edge
Rebellion dawns, rattling
Dewdrops on a web
ROBOTS
BABY ANDROID
Baby android sleeps
As the Prof gently closes
“Intro to Physics”
SICK ROBOT
To the sick robot
The doctor gives the bad news:
Computer virus
STARVING VULTURE
The starving vulture
Pecks at the lifeless eyes of
The cyborg soldier
HELPLESS
We sit helplessly:
The mad census A.I. whirs,
Waiting for “John Doe”
HUDDLED
Huddled in our hut,
Machines march by in the night,
Vast, unknowable
HULL-REPAIR ROBOT
Hull-repair robot
Stranded on a backward world
Awes an alien
ROBOTS
Mom and Dad explain
Robots aren’t scary, they’re nice
But I see their eyes
The above poem is also featured in Scifi.com’s SciFaiku Gallery from SCIFI.CON 98.
KILLERS
My powerful flocks
My plague of nano-killers
My Pandora’s box
TIME TRAVEL
LOOP
Oh no, I’ve spawned a
Time loop! Oh no, I’ve spawned a
Time loop! Oh no, I’ve…
CLONE
My immortal clone
Will be lonely at Time’s End.
I should have made more
ADAM’S SECOND DATE
But there’s just one way
To meet Eve again
For one more “first time”
ADOLF II
I, Adolf II, will
Grandfather my suicide
Now, the Reich will lose
QUIET GREEN WORLD
A quiet green world
Greets our heroic return
We bagged Lucy’s mom
RELATIVITY
We drank for a year
by Old Albert’s reckoning
but reached Urth sober
DOWNTOWN ATLANTIS
Downtown Atlantis
Is not quite so busy now
Waves lap at my feet
Copyright Andrew G. McCann and James Palmer; Line 2 by James. See more poetry by James (and me) here.
THIEF
I plundered da past
And came back ta find my fence
Never hoid of me
Some of the art on this page was featured in the SciFaiku Art section at scifi.com’s SCIFI.CON 96.
This Web page was last updated on January 4, 2004.
