Originally published as Planet Magazine No. 23 (September 1999) on the classic Planet Magazine site.
Planet Magazine
SEPTEMBER-Quarter 1999 * Issue No. 23 (Vol. 6, No. 3)
Wild Science Fiction and Fantasy on the Web — ABSOLUTELY FREE!
Table of Contents
Editorial & Letters · About the Authors · About the Artists · About this Magazine · Behind the scenes: the making of “The Ostrich Racers” art
S T O R I E S
- The Ostrich Race by Tony Chandler
- Antiques by Mark Stanley
- Arcade by Alan Kaufman
- Bitter Reflections by Ty Drago
- Color Me Black by Fabio Fernandes
- Dino Farm by Ray Dangel
- The Fall of the Word by Chad Brunner
- Mission Fatigue by Daniel Ksenych
- Mountain Time by Lee Dresselhaus
- Once and Future by Virginia Chandler
- Remarks of Centurion ‘Glou’ by Dennis Fisher
- Remivores by McCamy Taylor
- The Silent Man by Mike Oakwood
- Y2K by Christopher Clagg
P O E T R Y
- Corythosaurus Ranch by Andrew G. McCann
- De La Lune by Diggs Sexton
- Silicon Warrior by Hathno Paige
- Three Haiku by Joyce Stenberg
- Traveler by Kristen Comer
Editorial & Letters
Planet Says: You Are Reading This Sentence!
IT’S NICE TO RE-TOOL MOTHER NATURE
Hi, it’s Bill Gates(tm) again. Now that I’m the World’s Most Charitable Man, and no longer managing Microsoft on a day-to-day schedule (or so I claim), I’ve turned my attention to global-scale, yet non-Windows-related, problems. I believe the key issue facing all of us today is the exponentially rising number of extinctions in the animal kingdom, the insect kingdom, the plant kingdom, and even the Magic Kingdom, which has raised alarm among concerned scientists and hunters the world over. More species have disappeared in recent decades than perhaps at any other time in history, rivaling even the death of the dinosaurs and their fierce Cave-Men riders at the end of the Jurassic Park Era.
Most students of the Extinction Problem point to Personkind’s destructive technologies as the prime cause of this spreading die-off. Critics charge that overpopulation, urbanization, genetic tinkering with foodstuffs (such as Monsanto’s upcoming razor-sharp, parti-colored peas), as well as the Linux OS, have begun unraveling the very environment that keeps us all alive. They warn us that Mother Gaia is ill and unhappy, and about ready to sneeze us humans into a Nuclear Winter Age, where, no doubt, we will have to slave away in the transdimensional Flubber fields under the unblinking gaze of our inscrutable Alien Grey Lords. Personally, I expect to survive any Final Biodiversity Disaster just fine in my lava-proof, vacuum-sealed, Java-enabled Seattle Bio-Fortress — whether it be an invasion of bug-eyed critters, a rain of meteorites, a deluge of water nymphos, or a horde of Mac fanatics.
But do not despair, for help is at hand. Microsoft, in conjunction with the Patentable-Genes Industry, has just announced an exciting solution to the pending collapse of the Earth’s environment. In the spring of next year, assuming that the world hasn’t already ended as a result of the Y2K Cock-Up, my giant software company and its partners will proudly debut The Microsoft Animal(tm) family of products.
Microsoft non-optioned engineers and geneticist temps, working under total secrecy, without sleep, and over four consecutive weekends, have reverse-engineered each major type of animal in each ecological stratum on Earth, averaged out the results, added the essence of life, and produced a single, simple, Sony-designed, and highly interactive animal for each bio-niche of our planet Earth. We really learned a lot from that talking Barney doll we developed.
The Animal series comprises one carnivore (the Dawg, a playful dog-like creature that just LOVES meat-flavored cheese), one herbivore (the Kow, which is basically the cow, but now even tastier), one bird (called the Spigeon, which poops out fish food), one fish (the SalTuna — and the grillin’s good!), and one insect (the Aint, which is a more streamlined ant that can actually be taken apart by kids and then put back together, without the Aint dying!). A few other niche Animals will be introduced later in the year, such as the Kat, and then over time as consumer demand requires. The Pet subcategory (including the Kat, but not the Dawg, which will be edible) has been outsourced to Sony, which will also provide various robotic dog- and cat-like talking creatures in an assortment of non-iMac colors and with various premium features, such as the ability to disable home intruders via electrical shock or to baby-sit children.
Of interest to investors, we believe, is that Microsoft has managed to achieve significant cost savings with these Animals, relative to the current, but hopelessly outmoded “naturally occurring” animals. Many interior elements have been commonized, so that, for example, the carnivore and herbivore models share interchangeable optical, neural, and cardio-vascular systems, despite their differing gastro-intestinal systems.
In addition, the larger Animals will be running a modified version of Windows 2000, so that they can also be used as remote Web-page terminals by hikers and hunters who need to check e-mail or track their favorite stocks. Just plug your palmtop or laptop into the Animal’s USB-compliant buttjack. Smaller creatures will run Animal/User CE (An/uCE), a WinCE variant, which cannot yet directly handle e-mail but will sync with Microsoft Outlook (Win2000 and above only; no Mac version is currently planned). It’s simply an embrace of Mother Nature and an extension of Microsoft’s “Windows Everywhere” program.
Of course there will be some minor downsides to these improvements. For one, it will become a whole lot easier to get a degree in biology, especially with the coming “Certificates of BioloGee!” to be offered beginning next year through Microsoft University (our sympathy if you spent all that money on an old-fashioned Biology degree). And species extinctions are likely to escalate following the introduction of Microsoft Animals, which are pre-programmed to infiltrate, dominate, and “stabilize” their eco-niches. Yet the Company has taken all of this into account, and expects to have a whole new series of eco-products over the next couple of years to complete its patented and trademarked Microsoft Earth Environment Suite. For example, the Microsoft Tree(tm) (an oak hybrid that can produce a number of fruits at one time — currently, coconuts, apples, and oranges; unfortunately, they all taste acorn-ish) is being beta-tested right now at various locations in Indonesia and Ohio.
So the future looks bright, at least for Microsoft, and we promise to keep you all enthralled with exciting new products through the coming months and years. In fact, our biggest new product introduction — ever — is only about a year away. No, it’s not the final version of Windows 2000. It’s all very hush-hush at this point, but we can tell you this much: Keep a telescopic eye peeled for Microsoft Planet(tm)!
Death to Butterflies!
Bill Gates
(As Told To: Andrew G. McCann
Human-Editor-Template Applicant
August 1999)
[Editor’s Note: The following item was released just as we were going to print.]
MICROSOFT INTRODUCES WINDOWS SG — ENTERS FOOD MARKET
Microsoft proudly announces that by the summer of 2000, hungry but budget-conscious consumers will be able to purchase Microsoft-branded food. Windows SG is a delicious new food product with all of the quality you’ve come to expect from the world’s biggest software company!
Windows SG (trademark pending certain copyright issues and technology transfers) is a fully configurable protein paste made from ground-up corpses that can be made to taste, feel, and look like any kind of meat, fruit, vegetable, or snack. Yes, we all know that SG is people — but delicious, char-broiled people! Juicy people who’ve been slathered with grilled onions, steeped in oil-based enamel paint for 15 minutes, irradiated, and “kwik-dipt” in liquid methane using a proprietary alien process! Mmm, mmm, no wonder the Reptilians eat us! So let’s hear it for human-burgers with cheese (hey, you want Eyes with that Trachea?). Hey, maybe we still don’t know what The Matrix is, but we sure do know a good idea when we smell one!
LETTERS TO THE EDITOR
Dear Editor:
Checked out the issue this morning and it looks very cool, as always. You know your mag has the slickest look of most of the mags out there, including the pros. I would call that dedication to what you like.
Take care,
Chris
Dear Editor:
In January 2000, the literature magazine “Mauvaise Graine”, at http://www.multimania.com/mauvaisegraine/ will be publishing a special issue concerning the year 2000 and would like as many authors as possible, from anywhere in the world, to participate.
Thanks,
Walter Ruhlmann
Dear Editor:
Thanks for the great science fiction mag. I just tried to catch up on the latest PM and it seems to be 404. So are all of the back issues. I hope this is just a temporary problem with the Web site.
Keith
[Editor’s Note: It was.]
Dear Editor:
I can’t get to any of the issues using the links provided. I was able to get to the directories, but most of the newer issue’s directories were empty. The issues I was able to read had bad links throughout… mostly they looked like the links and the files were different cases. St. Croix
[Editor’s Note: Surfing our “mirror” site at http://www.etext.org/Zines can be a bumpy ride. We recommend that visitors to Planet Magazine use the following URL only: http://www.planetmag.com]
Dear Editor:
I’ve got a Web site that I’m hoping you might find impressive enough to add to your “Sites We Like” page. It’s at…. http://www.mervius.com …and it’s called Fantastica Daily. It’s about science fiction, fantasy, and horror — daily commentary, news, book & movie reviews, all presented with personality.
Thanks,
Mervius
Dear Editor:
Noticed your site and was very impressed. As a new publisher of printed SF novels (Spectrutek.com), we have established an online Web presence and are looking to expand our advertising. Good luck, and if you get a chance, please stop by for a visit at: http://www.spectrutek.com
R.A. Leigh
Dear Editor:
Greetings! I found your cool zine from http://www.sfsite.com/. We’re a sci-fi, fantasy and alternative zine that is relatively new to the Web, but making a big waves in the industry. We were hoping you’d like to exchange links with Quantum Muse, http://www.quantummuse.com/ Check us out and see what you think!
Sincerely,
Becky — QM’s web goddess. :-)
Dear Editor:
Would you be interested in a link swap? Distractions Magazine — http://distractions.cjb.net Garry
[Editor’s Note: We are not updating our links at the moment; however, we thought the above sites were worth visiting, so we’re publishing their letters.]
LETTERS TO OPERATING SYSTEMS
Dear Amiga:
As part of our effort to stock up for Y10K, please let your readers know that we will be holding an inventory-clearing “Millennium Madness Y2K-product clearance sale”, beginning Jan. 1, 2000. This one-day sale will be your only chance to get huge discounts on Y2Ks-specific portable generators, wind-up radios and flashlights, Tupperware, gun racks, freeze-dried foods, collapsible water containers, pop-up anti-nuke shelters, and survivalist books and religious tracts. Of course, we still urge you to buy these products, now, at full price, since the world will be effectively ending at midnight on Dec. 31, 1999. And once it does, be sure to log in to the ‘Net and surf on over to http://www.youwantcrazy-wegotcrazy.com!
N. Devon Erah
Dear Be:
Dr. Frankenstein here. I thank you for giving me the space to rectify the inaccurate portrayal of me and my Monster in those Hollywood movies. We were never feared or hated by the villagers. In fact, we were rather loved. For example, when the peasants were massed about the castle, it was not to attack us, as the filmmakers would have you believe. No, in fact, the villagers were merely delivering a large order we had placed for torches and pitchforks.
Regards,
Dr. Frankenstein
Dear CP/M:
Here’s a tip for those of you regularly abducted by little men. One night, while being abducted for the umpteenth time, and, as usual, fighting them off, I discovered that I could pop their heads off! All you do is grab them by their scrawny necks, put your thumbnail under their chins, and flick your thumb upward. It’s just like what I used to do with dandelions as a kid. And POP, off with their heads! You’ll laugh as they run about your bedroom, arms flapping, while you play “Keep Away”! I can tell you one thing: they won’t be so quick to visit you again at night!
Try it, you’ll like it!
Abe “Duck” Tee
Dear DOS:
I just read the above letter and wanted to instantly respond, so thank you for the opportunity to be heard. I think that what’s missing in the Abduction Debate is a simple attempt to put ourselves in the shoes (so to speak, since they apparently don’t wear shoes) of the Grey Ones. Think about it. If you were an alien, wouldn’t you abduct humans, too? I mean, what else would you do with your time? Fly around in endless circles in your little UFOs? I think not. I think you WOULD abduct humans and experiment on them. OK, so maybe you can’t think of a good reason to abduct humans, but, honestly, could you, as an alien, think of a reason NOT to abduct humans? I rest my case.
Best,
A. Heumann
Dear EPOC:
I think you’ve gone to the well too many times with your running alien-abduction theme in these fake letters and in your even faker editorial. Maybe you should find something new to mock-but-secretly-believe-but-with-reservations (and no, I’m not actually the editor of Planet Magazine writing a note to himself — I’m a genuine, concerned fictional character). By the way, have you ever noticed that the most hostile aliens of all are those flying luxury UFOs with vanity plates?
Hugh F. O’Pilot
Dear FilipinOS:
We just got back from DisneyWorld, where I learned all about Hidden Mickeys, which are those places in the theme park where the hidden image of Mickey Mouse can be discerned by the clever observer. Well, I just wanted to say that my husband has been making Hidden Mickeys every morning for years. Do those qualify? If so, who can I contact at Disney?
Thanks,
Sue Burban
Dear Linux:
I am a global explorer of many years seeking funding for my next big project: To plant the American flag on the West Pole! What a symbol that would be for the U.S. as it approaches the new Millennium. Just think, long after Byrd, Peary, Amundsen, and Santa Claus jointly discovered the North and South Poles of the Earth, the West Pole, in the heart of the most civilized nation in the world, remains undiscovered! Such a situation is intolerable, says I! So please, ask your readers to send funds to my headquarters — “The West Pole Discovery Project, Route 1, The East Pole” — so that I may buy a car and travel deep into the heart of the U.S. And yes, I’m the same explorer who discovered the East Pole, back in 1997 in honor of the transfer of Hong Kong back to China. As an incentive, those who contribute to this project will be eligible to personally participate as sherpas in my later journeys to discover the Northwest Pole, the Southeast Pole, and so on.
Bo “Gus” Clame
Dear Macintosh:
Psst, hay, meester tourist! Come here, in this alley, I hab souvenirs for sale. Ha! OK, thees ees a steeck-up. Gib me your money, and don’ try notheen fancy, because my fren, Poncho, has you covered! Yes, that ees right, my fren Poncho is actually the very poncho you are wearing! So you are covered almost completely by heem! Thas good, now run along.
And Don’ Look Back,
Char-Char Beenks
Dear PalmOS:
Given the large number of philosophy students among your readers, I would like to pose the following question: What happens when the Irresistible Bucket of Water meets the Eternal Flame? Return your essays to my desk by 2 p.m., Wednesday.
That Is All,
T. Chure
Dear Unix:
We’ve all received those e-mails detailing methods of making your own Star Wars name, such as: Method #1: 1. Take the first 3 letters of your first name 2. Add the first 2 letters of your last name. This is your first name. 3. Take the first 2 letters of your mother’s maiden name 4. Add the first 3 letters of the city you were born. This is your last name Method #2: 1: Take the last three letters of your last name and reverse them. 2: Add the name of the first car you drove/owned 3: Insert the word “of” 4: Tack on the name of the last medication you took. Well, here is our proposed Method #3: 1: Take the last three letters of your last name and reverse them. 2: Take the first three letters of the NAME of the first car you drove/owned, and the first two letters of the MAKE; put them together 3: Insert the word “of” 4: Take the first three letters of the last medication you took, reverse them. 5: As a final step, burn all your possessions and call Starfleet Command, informing them of your new name and your immediate availability for passage on the next outward-bound, Enterprise-Class ship.
Presented as a Public Service,
(via subspace fax)
Nna Furfo of Tiv
Dear Windows:
I’m looking for someone to upgrade my home computer to Windows NT 4.0 for free. It’s an Epson Equity I (8088/256K RAM/0MB HD/EGA monitor). Hang on… I’ve just double-checked, it’s actually a Smith-Corona typewriter. Is that a problem?
Les Koole
Dear Editor:
Every woman I’ve ever loved has been unfaithful. They all end up talking about the same guy. Then I’m like: “Later.” And I’m gone. Then these women call me, begging for an explanation — like they really need or deserve one! Like I’d ever lower myself to give them an explanation. No way! How would you feel if all you ever hear from your girl is: “Oh, I love Hugh, I love Hugh!” And I’m thinking: “Who the hell’s this Hugh guy? If they love Hugh so much, then they should just go and be with HIM!” But I don’t say that — I won’t give them the pleasure — I’m just outta there!
Dejectedly,
Earwacks “Bill” Dupp
About the Authors
PLANET MAGAZINE: A Web Site for Sore Eyes
Chad Brunner (“The Fall of the Word“) is a technical writer in the Beltway, and he’s working to hone his writing skills and establish some credentials before working on an actual novel. He tries to spend his free time writing, but is often distracted by running a fantasy MUSH called The Realm of Dreams (therealm.godlike.com 9990).
Tony Chandler (“The Ostrich Racer“) lives in Atlanta, GA, working as a Systems Engineer. He has a wife of 17 years (they’ve been married that long, that’s not her age) and a daughter who is 15 (that is her age, full-fledged BSB-lovin’ teen). Tony has been writing for eight years now and has had modest success in various small print magazines, and in the “leading” Webzines of our day, including the fantabulous Planet Magazine. Oh, and he has two kitties, KC and Andy, whom he consults with closely on matters of the utmost importance. Tony’s FIRST novel (albeit a short novel) is now complete at http://www.writershood.com/ and is entitled “MotherShip” — a tale about family, love, courage, and sacrifice. But read his “serious” story here first, “The Ostrich Race”. It is destined to become a classic (and hey, you wanna buy a bridge?). Tony does want to thank Andy McCann and Thomas Miller for the pleasure of being able to write this story “for” Thomas’s truly inspired picture (which came first, the picture or the tale?).
Virginia Chandler (“Once and Future“) is a technical writer who has been published in “Golf” magazine, “Divot” magazine, “Lost Worlds” (twice), “Database Advisor,” and “Lotus Notes Advisor,” and she has a novel available online from Cloverleaf Golf publishers, “Solid Contact”.
Chris Clagg (“Y2K“) works, reads, writes, and occasionally sleeps in Orlando, Florida. A day job working in Retail Sales as well as teaching computer science for a local elementary school hinder his creative efforts, but have no effect at all on his book-a-week reading habit. He dreams of (a) cracking the commercial market, (b) winning the lottery, (c) travelling to other worlds and times, and (d) not necessarily all of those in the same order or all at once.
Kristen Comer (“Traveler“) is 18 years old and a senior in high school. She currently work as a correspondence reporter for “The Canton Repository”. Kristen plans on majoring in either journalism or English in college. Science Fiction/Fantasy is her favorite genre, and she hopes to become a professional writer someday.
Ray Dangel (“Dino Farm“) a Planet associate editor, caused global alarm in literary circles last week when he disappeared from his usual haunts. It was as if he had fallen into a hole and pulled it in after him. Turns out he DID tumble into a rabbit hole, which was occupied by some strange characters indeed. One person named Alice intrigued Ray, but there was a Queen who was something else, and Ray was extremely happy when he was snapped back home after a short nap down inside that hole. Even now, he’s not certain how it all happened, but he’s a gullible soul and believes all he hears — even from himself. He says he’ll be more careful where he walks. Ray can be reached at if you have any similar nifty adventures to pass on to him. His website: http://members.delphi.com/goldguy/index.html
Ty Drago (“Bitter Reflections“), 38, lives in Stratford, New Jersey, with his wife, Helene, daughter Kim and son Andy. A freelance computer consultant by profession, Ty has been writing all of his life, mostly in the science fiction and fantasy/horror genres. Ty’s work has appeared in “After Hours,” “Haunts,” “Pandora,” and “Midnight Zoo.” One of his tales, “The Attendant”, received an honorable mention in the 1994 Year’s Best Fantasy and Horror anthology. He has completed two novels, first a contemporary fantasy entitled Chivalry, and the second a high fantasy piece called Angelfire, both of which are now available for publication. He is also the editor/publisher of Peridot Books, a successful, online fiction magazine.
Lee Dresselhaus (“Mountain Time“) has had three stories published in the regular print media, and with this story is making his first foray into the realm of the cyber-zines. Lee writes a weekly 900-word humor/opinion column for two South Louisiana newspapers. He recently won the 1998 Louisiana Press Association award for Best Regular Column.
Romeo Esparrago (PM23 webformatter & title/header graphics), after reading on the net that Neanderthal Art is the Next Big thing, Romeo attached a wooden frame to his head in an attempt to flatten his forehead and get into the paleolithic mindset. We tried to tell him that you can’t believe EVERYTHING you read on the net, but artists just don’t listen. Though his cave paintings are better than ever, his wife and his puppy pug are getting angry at the bones and cooking fires scattered throughout their living room. His website: http://www.romedome.com/.
Fabio Fernandes (“Color Me Black“) is a Brazilian science fiction writer who has been publishing short stories in local magazines since 1991.
Dennis Fisher (“Remarks of Centurion ‘Glou’ on the Late War“) is a Maine native who moved back there after living many years in a cramped nearby state, bought a small old farm near Bangor, and has taken up organic growing. He went to college at Colby in Waterville. The climate can be trying, but it isn’t nearly as bad as in Aroostook County, where he was born. There, the snow drifts up over the houses and people tunnel from place to place under the snow, like voles. Dennis has written a book on navigation called “Latitude Hooks and Azimuth Rings” for TAB/McGraw-Hill, published in 1994, and three books on homebrewing for Storey Publishing. The latest is “The Homebrewer’s Garden”, on growing your own brewing ingredients. Dennis collaborates often with his brother and writing partner, Joe Fisher. He’s also sold two science fiction stories to Aboriginal Science Fiction: “Locals” and “Feeders”. These concern the adventures of a hard-bitten fisherman named Tom on a rocky, watery planet full of incredibly violent natives called Locals.
Hathno Paige (“Silicon Warrior“)Hathno Paige is chief wiener designer at the Oscar Beyer Wiener Factory. He recently developed techniques for hand-rolling wieners and aging them in oak casks to develop a more peaty flavor. Bars in the New York area are already installing special wiener rooms where connoisseurs can gather to taste and discuss these most elitist of delicacies.
Alan Kaufman’s (“Arcade“) most recent book is an anthology, “The Outlaw Bible of American Poetry”, coming this fall from Thunder’s Mouth Press. His previous books include “The New Generation” (Anchor/Doubleday) and “Who Are We?” (Davka Limited Editions). Alan’s stories, poems, and essays appear widely in print and online in such publications as Salon, Witness, Tikkun, Savoy, Long Shot, ZuZu Petals, and Ecclectica.
Daniel Ksenych (“Mission Fatigue“) is either an interdimensional playboy zen-gineer, a small, furry kleptomaniac, or a fairly average 26-year-old who wants to be an interdimensional playboy zen-gineer when he grows up. While he waits for the lab results, Daniel watches a lot of movies and reads a lot of comic books.
Andrew G. McCann (“Editorial & Letters“, “Corythosaurus Ranch‘) is a dank, greenish, semi-aware vapor from the Doomed Planet of Lklorfuut who nonetheless has an upbeat personality and a “can zlkluut” attitude. He is quite confident that his unnamed race of people will be inducted soon into the Council of Worlds – well before any of you walking bags of meat on the backwater planet Earth.
[Name removed at author’s request] (” Four Poems “)
Mike Oakwood (“The Silent Man“) lives in Michigan with his wife and the world’s four most adorable cats. His previous work has appeared in “Shiver”, “Sapphire”, “A Taste for Flesh”, “Sinister Element”, and other places. He promises to stay warped as long as people read his stuff.
Diggs Sexton (“De la lune“) is a 38-year-old male, living 35 years in Tulsa, Oklahoma, who recently moved to Sulphur, Louisiana. He works by day as a two-way radio technician and writes at night. He loves to garden, growing hot peppers, and he works out in martial arts. He has three children, two younger, who live with their mother in Tulsa, and his oldest girl, 15, who lives with him. Diggs reads Poe, Byron, Shelley, Shakespeare, Neruda, Lovecraft, and Machen.
Mark Stanley (“Antiques“) is a 44-year-old avionics technician living in South Florida. He is a dedicated bachelor, which leaves him free to read and write into the late hours of the night fueled by Bud, Beam, and Bach. His fiction writing heroes are Heinlein, Hemingway, Kipling, London, and Conrad. His favorite current SF writer is Allen Steele. He is also a big fan of John Wayne movies, but that’s another story. . Web site: http://www.speculative-fiction.com.
Joyce Stenberg (“Three Haiku“) is a short, light-hearted mom and teacher with a house and classroom full of short, light-hearted aliens who spend much of their time staring out into space. She has no Web links, but there are web-footed creatures surfing in the flood-control channel beyond her fence. She, too, surfs beyond her fence, and even beyond the World Wide Web to places invisible to all but the heart.
McCamy Taylor (“Remivores“) offers “McCamy Taylor Millennium Fiction” at http://www.dfw.net/~taylorjh/, where some of her fiction can be read for free.
Tom Wagner (Assistant Editor)Tom Wagner once answered, President of the first Martian colony! to the question, If you could be doing anything, and I mean anything, twenty years from now, what it be? Needless to say, the interviewer didn’t really mean ANYTHING and he didn’t get that job.
Planet Magazine! The only SF/Fantasy Web-zine created with Microsoft Notepad running within Windows 98 emulation on an iMac!
About the Artists
Planet Magazine:
Wookie hooky was good,
Wookie nookie was better.
ABOUT OUR FEATURED COVER ARTIST – THOMAS MILLER
Thomas Miller, is a Fine Arts graduate from East Tennessee State University. He’s been doing freelance illustrations for about five years now. He is also trying to build a portfolio of 3-D animation, and hopes to get a career in that field. When Thomas works he usually starts with lots of pencil and ink drawings. After he gets the composition, basic details, and atmosphere he likes, he scans it into the computer and finishes the piece in either PhotoShop or Painter, depending on the look he wants to achieve. Thomas loves using PhotoShop and Painter because he gets the same look as traditional media in a fraction of the time… and undo’s are nice to have. When he’s not working he’s collecting any art, or books, he can find of his favorite artists (Bill Stout, H. R. Giger, Wayne Barlowe, Robert Bateman, and, lately, Brom).He also photographs thunderstorms, and collects all things dinosaur, so he’s always hunting for the newest info and art on them. In addition to the works presented here, Thomas has recently completed artwork for Tony Chandler’s MotherShip Part 5 at http://www.writershood.com/.
His Web site: http://pages.preferred.com/~digisaur/. His .
Editor’s Note: Thomas’ art was the inspiration for Tony Chandler’s “The Ostrich Racer“, Ray Dangel’s “Dino Farm” , Andy McCann’s “Corythosaurus Ranch“, and the background used in the title graphics. You can see how he put together his artwork for us looking at the Behind the scenes of “Ostrich Racers”.
Romeo Esparrago (art for “Antiques“, “Four Poems”, “Mission Fatigue“, “Mountain Time“, “Once and Future“, “Remivores“, “Travelers“, “Y2K“) is an amateur artist , who, in addition to his duties as Planet Mag’s web designer, has recently completed artwork for Tony Chandler’s MotherShip serial novel at http://www.writershood.com/. His art website: http://www.romedome.com/art/ .
Kalazar (art for “Remarks of Centurion Glou“, “Color Me Black“) is a graphics Web designer of original, free SciFi-themed graphics, and is creating the graphics for a new video game called NetherGoth. She has a permanent exhibit at the About.com Artist Exchange Gallery, as well as original SciFi and Mundane greeting cards available at http://www.kalazar.com, with a larger collection of original works at http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Zone/2544/.
g.k. Senthil Kumar (Artist for “The Fall of the Word“) is from India, where just about everything commands an artistic representation. He is currently working with Communication Design Group, a software company, as a senior creative designer. Homepage: http://www.fortunecity.com/meltingpot/parklands/153/
Duncan Long (art for “Arcade“, “Silent Man“, “Silicon Warrior“, “Three Haiku“) is a professional artist and writer who often illustrates his own technical books. In addition to creating artwork, he has seen nearly 60 books he has written go into print, including 13
novels published by HarperCollins and Avon Books. Long’s fanciful illustrations are springing up at a number of Web sites as well as on covers of novels, magazines, and e-zines. . His online gallery, 1st Encounters, can be found at: http://www.kansas.net/~duncan/Artpage/
Andrew G. McCann (art for “Bitter Reflections“, “De La Lune“) is a dark, squeamish, trailer smell from the Doomed Planet of Lklorfuut who nonetheless has an upbeat personality and a “can zlkluut” attitude. He is quite confident that his unnamed race of people will be inducted soon into the Council of Worlds – well before any of you walking bags of meat on the backwater planet Earth.
Behind the scenes: the making of “The Ostrich Racers” art
Behind the scenes of “Ostrich Racers”
by featured issue artist Thomas Miller
Planet Magazine is proud to present how artist Thomas Miller created this issue’s cover masterpiece. After seeing his impressive development art for the works he donated us for last issue’s stories, we invited him to design the cover and background art for this issue.
First came Thomas’ conceptual musings.One of them inspired “Dino Farm“, whilst another, “Bioluminous Organism“, was used as our issue’s background pattern.
Below, in Thomas’ own words, are the steps he took to create the cover “Ostrich Racers“.
The next images will show some of the steps that went into making this image. I started with the sketch above, and drew-in and replaced the parts as I went.
Here’s the final image, I chose for Planet Magazine’s cover. Nothing says “wild” like a water-gun toting dirt-biker hanging on for dear life on the back of a jet-powered ostrich!
TM
Here you can see the drawing I did first, and then how it looks painted.
About this Magazine (Masthead)
Planet Recommends: Vote Gore in 3000!
Planet Magazine, Vol. 6, No. 3 (the 23nd issue)
Home Site: http://www.planetmag.com
Mirror Site: http://www.etext.org/Zines/planet
Editor & Publisher
Andrew G. McCann
editor@planetmag.com
Art Director/Web Designer
Romeo Esparrago
Associate Editor
Ray Dangel
Associate Editor/Master of All Dimensions
Tom Wagner
WHAT IN THE WORLD IS PLANET MAGAZINE?
Planet Magazine is the free, award-winning quarterly Web-zine of short science fiction and fantasy by emerging writers and artists, whom we hope to encourage in their pursuit of the perfect tale or illustration. There could be other reasons we’re doing this, of course, motivations that are obscure and uncomfortable; instincts linked perhaps to primal, nonreasoning urges regarding power and procreation — the very same forces, no doubt, that sank the Atlanteans and their alabaster-towered oceanic empire. And the Dark Gods laffed.
Planet is available electronically via the World Wide Web (see the clickable links at the top of this page) and from various online services, such as America Online, CompuServe, and Tin-Foil-Hat Receptron. Total circulation is “thousands” per issue worldwide. Feel free to download this zine or make a single printout, as long as you don’t charge for it or alter it in any way. That would be not only illegal but also “not nice.” Submissions are welcomed (see below). Planet does not carry advertising or offer a subscription service, but issues are always available at our Web site. Letters to the editor are also welcome and are likely to be printed.
SUBMISSIONS POLICY & WRITER GUIDELINES
Planet accepts original, unpublished short science fiction and fantasy stories and poems, as well as digital art, from anyone famous or unfamous (use the lengths in any recent issue as a guideline). We are open to the experimental but will not publish anything we judge to be porno, gore, or in violation (as far as we are able to tell) of any copyrights (such as stories that use Babylon 5 characters). Since Planet is free and carries no ads, we can’t pay anything except the spirit-sustaining currency of free publicity and life-enhancing good vibes.
E-mail text submissions as plain, unformatted files (either as an e-mail attachment or, if short enough, in the body of the e-mail message) to editor@planetmag.com. One submission at a time, please.
E-mail illustration submissions separately as e-mail attachments, but Stuff or Zip them first. Alternatively, you could send the URL for an image, and we can go look at it. Images should be 256-color, 16-color, 16-gray, or B&W GIFs or JPEGs only. Send any questions about illustrations to .
DISTRIBUTION SITES
Planet Magazine is now distributed only in Web (HTML) format, which can be read best with any version 3.0 Web browser or above, such as Netscape Navigator, Internet Explorer, Opera (currently PC only), NeoPlanet (PC only), or iCab (Mac only; mirror site). Earlier issues of Planet are also available at our Web site in four other electronic formats: TEXT-ONLY (for any PC or Mac word-processing program), ACROBAT .PDF (a full-color version for PC or Mac using the free Acrobat Reader), DOCMAKER (a full-color, self-running file with sounds for Mac only), and PALMPILOT .PRC (a text version that requires a PalmPilot PDA and a DOC reader like the freeware AportisDOC). The main place to find Planet is on the Web, either at our home page http://www.planetmag.com or our mirror site http://www.etext.org/Zines/planet.
COPYRIGHTS, DISCLAIMERS
Planet Magazine as a whole, including all text, design, and illustrations, is copyright © 1999 by Andrew G. McCann. However, all individual stories and poems in this magazine are copyright © 1999 by their respective authors or artists, who have granted Planet Magazine the right to use these works for this issue in both electronic form and any resulting print-outs by readers for noncommercial, individual use. All people and events portrayed in this magazine are entirely fictitious and bear no resemblance to actual people or events. This publication, along with every past issue of Planet Magazine, is registered with the Copyright Office of the U.S. Library of Congress. Since our first issue, dated January 1994, Planet Magazine has been freely available via the Internet and has consistently used the names “Planet Magazine”, “PlanetZine”, “PlanetMag,” and “McCann’s Planet Magazine” to refer to itself. You may freely distribute this magazine electronically on a noncommercial, nonprofit basis to anyone and print one copy for your personal use, but you may not alter or excerpt Planet in any way without direct, written permission from the publisher, who can be contacted at editor@planetmag.com. Any unauthorized access, reproduction, or transmission of Planet Magazine, in whole or part, is strictly prohibited by U.S. federal law and international copyright law. Planet Magazine is published by Cranberry Street Press, Brooklyn, N.Y., USA, Andrew G. McCann, publisher.
COLOPHON
These Web pages were designed and created by Romeo A. Esparrago, Jr., using Adobe GoLive 4.0 and ImageStyler. The text is Arial/Helvetica/Geneva; the logotypes are Arquitectura. Illustrations were done in Painter 4. Equipment used: an Apple PowerMac 6400, a Wacom ArtZ tablet, and a MicroTek ScanMaker IISP. Please visit the guest artists’ Web pages to learn about the tools they used for their illustrations. This issue of Planet was baked for 30 minutes at 400 degrees in an air-convection oven to assure a springy-to-the-touch texture.
Planet Magazine ISSN: 1526-1840
