Planet Magazine No. 37

Originally published as Planet Magazine No. 37 (March 2003) on the classic Planet Magazine site.

Planet Magazine

March Quarter 2003 * Issue No. 37 (Vol. 10, No. 1)
Wild Science Fiction & Fantasy on the Web — Since 1994
Price: If You Have to Ask, You Can Afford Us
to Visit Us When You Should Be Working

Space art of a ringed planet and moons rising over a rocky red alien landscape
Cover illustration: “The 5th Moon (Aegis)” by Dave King

Table of Contents

Editorial & Letters · About the Authors · About the Artists · About this Magazine

Stories

Poems

Editorial & Letters

A Public Service Message
‘Dear Captain Human Friend’

The following is a public service message from us (i.e.*, the editors) at Planet Magazine, which we submit to you (i.e., the readers) in the interests of galactic peace with the aliens (i.e., the E.T.’s). Below we reproduce, in its entirety, this essential message.

I believe I have just enough time left to append my signature.

Fear! I mean, Courage!
Andrew G. McCann, Editor
January 2003

* i.e. = in ether words.

Dear Captain Human Friend
A Poem by Rarsts Broad-Orange-Tube,
Ambassador from the planet Ooreeil

Dear Captain Human Friend:

As you know,
My people communicate in awkward, non-rhyming verse.
Especially when we must write in your English language.

This spaceship is nice, although perhaps a little small, and
I look forward to seeing Earth and its bizarre wonders.

But I would like you to know
that the “boogers” which Second Programming Engineer Tim Waino
frequently rolls
between his index finger and fascinating opposable thumb
do not magically disappear, as he seems to think, judging by his behavior
over these past six months in space (granted, I am not a trained
exo-psychologist, yet I have logged many hours of observation).

No, these boogers land on the floor,
which must be kept clean, as I need to intimately ooze from place to place.
As you full well know.

Why does Mr. Waino not see that? It is very clear to my multiple hi-res
eye-cluster stalks. And after all, a clean floor is Provision One of the
Mutual Pact, which you signed on behalf of ALL Earthlings.

Or have you conveniently ‘forgotten’ this so soon? Did not the Sacred
Skwlirtsh Ceremony, which we allowed you to witness,
underscore our needs?

Sometimes these boogers even land on my ‘head’. And please note that
Mr. Waino is not the only booger-dropper on your staff (Corporal Reisser
comes to mind), although he is the main offender.

So please, we insist that you Humans keep these boogers in your
probosces until you can dispose of them properly — else you risk
all-out, intergalactic nuclear conflagration.

Sign-Oozed,
Rarsts Broad-Orange-Tube
Ooreeilian Ambassador to Earth

Letters to the Editor

Dear Editor: Please consider including a link to http://www.readassist.org on your website. The ReadAssist site contains pages of links to SF publishers, bookstores, e-books, fanac sites, and assistive technology for the blind and disabled.
Thank you,
Pam Poggiani
Web Designer

Dear Editor: The inaugural Annual Wooden Rocket Awards were launched today to identify online excellence in the science fiction and fantasy genre. The awards are voted on by the Internet’s science fiction and fantasy fans to give recognition to their favourite web sites across a wide range of genre categories. The award ceremony will take place in June 2003. Further details and entry forms are available at the official Wooden Rocket Award site at http://www.WoodenRocket.com.
Peter Kent
Press Officer
Wooden Rocket Awards

Dear Editor: I like your webzine, and I just wanted to tip you off about my website. It contains five complete, ambitious SF novels, comic strips and several short stories… Please feel welcome to visit the site at http://pankrator.freeservers.com — and do enjoy. :)
Sincerely yours,
A.R.Yngve

Dear Editor: Otherworlds Sci-Fi / The Connection is sponsoring a short story Contest. There will be prizes awarded as well as publication in a yearly anthology due for publication in the Summer of 2003. Please pass this information along to your readers and contributors who may want to participate. Check the following link for information: http://www.otherworldsscifi.com/ShortStoryContest.html
Thank you for your time,
Steven Macon / Editor
OTHERWORLDS SCI-FI / THE CONNECTIONwww.otherworldsscifi.com

Dear Editor: I’m going to be adding a link to Planet Magazine on my site. Obviously I like SF&F poetry but I don’t find much of any quality.
Adam Gibbshttp://www.fantasticpoems.com

Letters to Rejected Yu-Gi-Oh! Names

Dear Blue Eyes, Blonde Dragon: I underwent head-transplant surgery, which was fine, but when I woke up from it I had a different face. I just wanted to warn any of your readers who were thinking about undergoing head transplancy.
Sincerely,
Tu Phaice

Dear Mystical Ralph: The problem with science-fictionism is that it takes up too many evenings. On the other hand, the only thing worse than science fiction is having no science fiction at all!
Wildly,
Oscar Wiener

Dear Hotsy-Totsy Giant: I was reading a catalog the other day, when it suddenly hit me: Everything, and I mean EVERYTHING, in that catalog was actually an advertisement! How could I have been so blind?! Is there no end to the tentacled conspiracy of the military/industrial/alien hegemony? Well, I guess not.
Regards,
Jess U. Waite

P.S. Since you’re probably wondering, I did end up purchasing a very snappy canary-lime business suit made of natural steel wool backed with hundreds of jointed, Durock-brand panels. The catalog told me to buy it. Anyway, it should be a hit at the office, post-alien-invasion, of course.

Dear Baby Diaper: I saw “Taken”, Spielberg’s new TV series. Talk about “taken”! That’s how I felt! Anyway, I heard they are doing a sequel, about what happens after the abductions stop and some family members have not come back. It will be called “Took”, although I heard the Tolkien estate is unhappy about it. Later, those family members not abducted but seemingly just right for abduction will star in a spinoff called “To Have Been Taken”, And so on, etc.
Paul F. Smoak

Dear Remodeled-Kitchen: When I was a kid, all the other kids were smarter than me, more articulate, better at math, wittier. Even in high school I would get only middling grades at best, and on the weekends my dull conversation would fail to impress the girls at parties. So that’s why I decided to get a silicone brain implant. Now my shiny, bulging forehead indicates a huge capacity for mental computations and verbal gymnastics. It’s true I would have got more actual mind potential if I’d gotten a silicon — rather than silicone — cranial implant, but I’m only interested in appearances, anyway, since I’m not too smart. Plus, it’s cheaper. So, what’s the square root of a hypotenuse? I have no idea, but I LOOK like I have an idea!
Got Ta Partay,
Brayne E. Acke

Dear Very Limp: I have just finished my first full-length feature for Sundance. It’s an examination of the persistence of desire in human nature for authority, and how that’s hard-coded and hard-wired in us, as reflected in mass suggestion and herd behavior. Essentially, the plot revolves around a multitude of sleepy strangers, much like your readers. In my film, I tightly focus on each face and record a sustained yawn. That’s it. The title of this masterwork is “You WILL Yawn!”. But I don’t want to give too much away.
I’m On My Way,
Phil M. Major

Dear Winged Dubya #1: One time in high school one of them black holes passed near me and my buddies, and all kinds of weird crap started happening. None of us knew if any of it was real, or if it was all just in our minds, and neither did the audience who was watching us on screen (how the audience got on screen I’ll never know). And neither do you. Anyway, my point is that you have to watch out for them black holes. Of course, by ‘black hole’ I mean Assistant Vice Principal Isher.
Sincerely,
Dander Keau

Dear Muffin Man: I don’t know who I am… or what I’ve become… But when “it” totally takes over, when I lose control, I LIKE it. All I know is that one moment I’m human, and the next moment I’m a computer-animated character with impossible speed, strength, and agility. Sometimes I feel like I’m living in a movie — especially since every day is the same and always finishes with giant letters saying The End. Still, could be worse. At least I have the super-ability to write letters to online magazines.
D. Houlck

Dear Shadow Sphincter: I only know how to spell the first half of the word “look”, like so: L-O, OK?
Wade N. Indeep

Dear Tyrone: Although I expect to be ignored, I am protesting the fact that I’ve been written out of the Lord of the Rings films — not to mention being totally ignored by the LotR books as well! No, I am not Cthultor, the tenth member of the Fellowship, who was also unfairly overlooked (and who was profiled in the pages of last quarter’s Planet Magazine). I was banished from Rohan by my half-brother, the pretender Eomer, who was actually fathered by Grima Wormtongue, who had a way with not only the King but also with the ladies. Everything I state here is true. Even so, the people of Rohan dispute my claims and say I am “just an ass”. To which I say, OK, but what can I do about that!?
Mopingly,
Eeyore
Ass of Rohan and Future King

Dear Battle Cow: I don’t know what the big deal is about the human baby that got cloned. Me ‘n’ my buddies back in high school cloned a baby as a senior-year science project. We also had one of them UFO cults going too. It was a nice scam while it lasted; we had a good ride. Of course, by “cloning a baby”, I mean “baking-soda volcano” and by “UFO cult”, I mean just that.
Regards,
Hugh Mann-Baibee

Dear Middle Leg of Forbidden: Consider the following:

Iraq
Miraq
Moraq
Mordaq
Mordoq
Mordor

Also:

Saddam
Sauddam
Saudom
Saurom
Sauron

Do you need any more proof? I thought not.
Dubya Baggins

Dear Editor: Everyone fears the giant sandworms of Arrakis, and rightly so, what with their razor-sharp crystal teeth and terrifying speeds. Still, the worst part of them, beyond their rank breath and the fearsome vortex of their “back ends”, is the simple fact that they never bathe and stink to high heaven. They can’t bathe, of course. Water kills ’em. Nonetheless, I blame Emperor Shaddam IV Hussein.
Regards,
Muad-Dubya

Warning: Planet Magazine contains high residue levels of SF and Fantasy!

About the Authors

Ray Dangel (Associate Editor and Staff Robot) needs no introduction to those who’ve been introduced!

Marilyn V. Brock (“Aurora“) is a PhD student in English/ Creative Writing. Besides traveling and residing around the globe (previous residences include Paris, Quebec City, and California), Marilyn enjoys running, drawing, and reading literature (especially the Brontes, Morrison, and O’Connor).

J. Alan Erwine (“A Singular Solution“) has published more than two dozen stories in various print and online magazines. He is an editor with Sam’s Dot Publishing, an agent with The Lobe Literary Agency, and of course, has a “real” job, which is what actually pays the bills. Order his short story collection or his novel.
Web-site: http://www.geocities.com/j_erwine

Ken Goldman (“The Last Great Hope“), a former high school English and Film Studies teacher, resides in homes in Bucks County, Pennsylvania, and the Jersey shore, as suits his mood. He has published stories in over 285 publications. In 1992 he placed second in the Rod Serling Memorial Foundation Writing Contest, in 1994 received the Small Press Genre Association’s nomination for Best New Writer, in 1995 The Genre Writer’s Association nomination for Best New Writer, and received honorable mention in Ellen Datlow and Terry Windling’s The Year’s Best Fantasy and Horror 7th and 9th Annual Collections. In 1997 he won Preditors & Editors Best Poem On The Internet Contest, and in 1999 won second place ësilver’ in the Salivan Short Story Contest (Horror Division). His work appears in such anthologies as New Traditions in Terror, The MOTA : Truth 2002 Anthology, Freaks, Geeks, & Sideshow Floozies, and The Witching Hour, First and Second Editions. Coming soon and featuring more of his work are the anthologies The Fear Within, Hour of Pain, and Darkness Rising, with more than 20 other publications containing his tales due in 2003. Ken is a current member of the Horror Writers Association and is willing to pay good money to receive a Stoker nomination.

John E. Gray (“The Persistence of Memory“) has degrees in mathematics and physics as well as training in electrical engineering. He has worked for the Department of Defense for twenty years doing engineering and research in the areas of radar, signal processing, missile guidance, and track filtering. He has published papers in engineering, applied physics, physics, and philosophy. He has also served on the technical committees for a number of national and international conferences. He is a member of a number of technical societies and the Washington Evolutionary Systems Society. He has written poetry most of his life, but this is his first publication in that area.

Charles Kaluza (“Harry’s New Toy“) is a surgeon and has expanded his writing interest from medical literature to fiction. He was given this opportunity to explore the creative side of his writing, when he developed rheumatoid arthritis. Charles misses the adrenaline rush of performing surgery but finds creative writing to be a good substitute. He is most interested in the potential for medical advances and the ethical issues they create. He hopes readers share his enthusiasm for the future.

Von Kraemer (“John Stellt” and “Lachesis and Lizards“) is a punk rocker who fell out of love with the film industry, and media at large, because in the author’s opinion, he can’t suck enough #%&* to make the mediocre happy. SCIFI is the Superposition. Writers of reel fiction (with few exceptions) are no longer related to the mass (boring) market, and the author refuses to screw a cousin to get a job. Poor is fine as long as he can retain his dignity. Von is starting to sell, but he doesn’t give a #%&*. A promise is a promise. All he has is his “word.”

Floyd Largent (“Cargo“) is a Texas-based writer with many publication credits, both online and in print, although he hasn’t made it into to the SFWA quite yet.

Andrew G. McCann (“Editorial & Letters“, Editor) is writing these very words as he conceives them. Amazing.
editor@planetmag.com

Russel D. McLean (“A Little Invasion“) was born and raised in Fife, Scotland. He attended the University of Dundee in Tayside, where he graduated with an MA in Philosophy in 2002. Currently adjusting to life in the “real world” he is determined to return to the relative sanity of university life where he hopes to be able to hide in the library and avoid any contact with reality, specifically those parts of it that demand he pay them money. His short fiction has previously been published in Demensions e-zine (www.demensionszine.com) and in Eric, the University of Dundee’s creative writing magazine (http://www.dusa.dundee.ac.uk/eric/eric.html).

Andy Miller (“Home Sweet Home” and “Space Opera“), works for a company affiliated with the government, which has him under surveillance “for his own good”. His poetry has been published in Star*line, Space and Time, Would That It Were, etc.

Hathno Paige (Whereabouts Unknown) just went to the store for smokes… and never came back.

William Alan Rieser (“Iron Feather” and “The Robain Incident“), born in New York City, less than 3 miles from the World Trade Center, originally was a musician and spent many years composing, conducting, teaching, and performing music on the East Coast. His earliest writing influences were Tolkien, H.G. Wells, Jules Verne, Ray Bradbury, Isaac Asimov, and Poul Anderson. He is now retired in Fort Worth, Texas, with his wife, Sandra, who edits his writings and doesn’t give him the slightest break on syntax or style, even though he expresses nought but loving thoughts to her. For several years he experimented with short stories for SF/F e-zines but now prefers to concentrate on more developed themes. In this last year, he published “The Kaska Trilogy” and “The Chronicles of Zusalem” via Writers Club Press, an organization associated with iUniverse and Barnes and Noble. His latest novel, “Luna Parabella“, has received a rave review at Amazon.com. Many other novels have been completed and are awaiting publication, such as “Furnace” and “Luna Parabella”. His articles, humorous and serious, are popping up everywhere, especially in his column at scifantastic. Currently, he is working on a mainstream novel and promises a mystery. He enjoys talking to writers, novice or professional, and encourages contact.
Web site: http://rieserbooks.homestead.com/rieserbooks.html

E.S. Strout (“Field Trip“) has been published in small-press print magazines “Crossroads”, “Lovecraft’s Mystery Magazine”, “Fading Shadows”, “Mad Scientist”, and “Millennium Science Fiction and Fantasy Magazine”. His stories have also appeared in the Internet publications “Jackhammer”, “Beyond s-f”, “Millennium SF&F”, and “Demensions”. E.S. Strout is on the faculty of the U.C. Irvine Medical Center, where he teaches skin pathology to dermatology residents.

Thomas Wagner (Associate Editor) plays an organic instrument of his own devising called the biolin. Bow down!

Dave Whittier (“Monday Night Infantry“) is just a touch this side of 40 years of age, live in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, and has been in the Canadian Army for over half his life. It seems to affect his writing somewhat…

William Wilde (“The Ride“) is a native Oregonian who writes in the Science Fiction and Horror genres. His recent fiction work has appeared in Black Petals, Burning Sky, and Millennium Science Fiction &Fantasy magazines.

Planet Magazine is a registered alien charity.

About the Artists

Ehrad (art for “A Little Invasion“, “A Singular Solution“, “Cargo“, “Field Trip“, “Iron Feather“, and “The Last Great Hope“) is a long time photo-retoucher with several passions in life… space art, mysticism, gardening, family, and cartooning. The cartooning aspect of her life is at present an all-consuming fire, and she is currently exploring the concept of “wholeness” through a tribal sci-fi comic called ERADUON, due to be published online in early 2003. Aside from all of the other craziness that is her existence, she still maintains an enormous love for all life forms, and has set about the task of knitting the universe together into the diverse mosaic that it truly is.

Romeo Esparrago (Man About Galaxy; cover logo and art for “New Toy“) is star of the new hit Fox series “Joe Thousandaire” — and this time, the guy ain’t lying! http://www.romedome.com/

Carl Goodman (art for “The Robain Incident“) is married with one son, lives in Surrey, UK, and has been doing computer graphics for a living since the late 1980s. A lot of his work has been based around fairly technical visualisation projects, but a while back he joined a computer animation company as director of graphics research and development, which means that basically he gets to evaluate all the leading-edge technologies associated with CGI and provide due diligence for venture capitalists on various projects. Carl has had a fair bit of material published in consumer media in the past, including animation work for Reuters on the Shoemaker-Levy 9 impact, which was shown on news channels in 22 separate countries. He also had some illustrations of this event published in “New Scientist” magazine. Carl is also an avid reader of what might be thought of as “hard core” science fiction, with a strong bias towards the Clarke-Asimov-Heinlein-Niven stable, and enjoys the opportunity to visualise concepts. In terms of tools, most of Carl’s work is in 3-D, using Max 4, character studio for animation, Deep Paint 3d for textures, Photoshop, Corel Xara for linework (less of a pain in the neck than Illustrator!) and simulation plug-ins like phoenix and havoc. Peppersghost.com has updated its site recently won a BAFTA award for http://www.tinyplanets.com — best entertainment site 2001.
Web-site: www.peppersghost.com

Dave King (Cover Art) thanks all his friends and family for supporting his love of computer graphics. He also especially thanks the love of his life, Jennifer, for all her love and support. Although she doesn’t share his interest in Sci-Fi, she always appreciates what he does, and for that, and MANY more reasons, he loves her dearly. Dave also thanks the people at Desktop Starships for the exposure and encouragement they’ve given him. Dave was born and raised in Nova Scotia, which is on the east coast of Canada. He is 33 years old and works in the computer field. He has a love of astronomy, music of all kinds, and science in general. Finally, he’d like to thank all the people out there who enjoy his work…he hopes to bring you many more images in the future! Please, if you like his work, let him know by sending an e-mail…you’re why he does this and he likes to get input. It also encourages him to keep paying for the site. Hope to hear from you soon

Von Kraemer (art for “John Stellt” and “Lachesis and Lizards“) is a punk rocker who fell out of love with the film industry, and media at large, because in the author’s opinion, he can’t suck enough #%&* to make the mediocre happy. SCIFI is the Superposition. Writers of reel fiction (with few exceptions) are no longer related to the mass (boring) market, and the author refuses to screw a cousin to get a job. Poor is fine as long as he can retain his dignity. Von is starting to sell, but he doesn’t give a #%&*. A promise is a promise. All he has is his “word.”

Juan Rodrigo Piedrahita Escobar (art for “Aurora” and “Monday Night Infantry“) was born in Medellín, Colombia, in 1960. He has exhibited his artwork in numerous venues and done book illustrations and cartoons. His work is also in the permanent collection of Freeway Gallery Art. Juan has studied architecture, engraving, and oil painting.
Web-site: http://www.absolutearts.com/portfolios/j/juanrodrigopiedrahi/

Rick Shelton (art for “Home Sweet Home“) was born in El Paso, Texas. A typical “military-brat”, he had lived in three separate countries and four states in the U.S. before graduating high school. After school, he continued his world travels, living in Britain for two years and visiting Europe and Africa during his service with the U.S. Air Force. He has traveled around the world and the U.S. and his goal is to visit South America, Australia, and Antarctica at some point in the future, thus completing a tour of all the continents.

Rick started drawing at an early age, as evidenced by the “Self-Portrait on School Bus, Age Four” (11″ x 9″, Crayola) hanging in his parents’ house. He has continued to draw and create other artwork throughout his entire life, dabbling at times in oils, pastels, sidewalk chalk, wire, sequential art (comic books), plasticine, bone, metal, html, industrial music, short fiction, sound-sculpture, novel-writing, computer graphics, and traditional animation.

Among his influences, Rick includes the artwork of Heironymous Bosch and Sandra Shelton, the writing of Franz Kafka and H.P. Lovecraft, the music of Babyland, Chemlab, David Bowie, Roger Waters, Trent Reznor, and several other dozen industrial/electronic bands. He confesses to a guilty love of industrial/dance covers of ’80s pop songs and is hopelessly addicted to Mystery Science Theater 3000.

He currently lives in Tampa, Florida, with his wife, their two cockatiels, and two rats.
Web-site: http://www.anticybr.org/rats

Frank Sipala (art for “Persistence of Memory“) is a freelance illustrator. He works digitally using photography and the computer. His work can be described as having a dark nature with a fantastical atmosphere and can used for a number of publications including books, editorial, and music. For more about him, see his website at www.franksipala.com.

Robert Sorensen (art for “Two SciFaiku“) was born in Summit, New Jersey, has lived in Paris, France, and currently resides in Colorado. His education includes studying painting at L’Academie des Beux Arts de Chaville and studying acting at the Lee Strasberg Institute in NYC, followed by professional work in a theatrical touring company and later, work in TV, films, and documentaries. Robert also wrote an SF screenplay about saving planet Earth from an alien invasion in the year 2059, with the title “QUANTEX-Z or ATOMIC VISIONS”. Robert is an avid international voyager whose passion is to visit, contact, and experience the cultures and peoples from all over Planet Earth and has visited most of Europe, Turkey, Israel, Egypt, Turkey, and most recently Mexico. Robert has exhibited his artwork extensively in Paris, once in London, and several times in the United States. In his artwork, Robert most often takes dream images and bites out of his own life and puts them on canvas, paper, or the computer screen. His themes include the hidden aura-energy within all living and non-living subjects and their surrounding environments.

Patrick Stacy (art for “The Ride“), like many before, started young. His main emphasis in childhood was in comics. Never content, the challenge was then to illustrate freehand — now that would be talent. Early influences are still inspirational today, such as the legendary Frazetta, Vallejo, and Parrish. Classical influences were Rubens and Caravaggio. Stacy was winner of the L.Ron Hubbard’s Illustrators of the Future contest in 1996 and has two illustrations within the volume.

Me am Bizarro Museum Fremen. Me sell krypto-knife. Only thing can kill Superworm.

About this Magazine (Masthead)

Planet Magazine, Vol. 10, No. 1 (the 37th issue)

Home Site: http://www.planetmag.com

Mirror Site: http://www.etext.org/Zines/planet

Lord Wizard
Andrew G. McCann
editor@planetmag.com

Exalted Ornamentalist
Romeo Esparrago

Royal Scrivener and Staff Robot
Ray Dangel

Bard of the Empire
Tom Wagner

What In The World Is Planet Magazine?
Planet Magazine is the free, award-winning quarterly Web-zine of short science fiction and fantasy by emerging writers and digital artists, whom we hope to encourage in their pursuit of the perfect tale or illustration. There could be other reasons we’re doing this, of course, motivations that are obscure and uncomfortable; instincts linked perhaps to primal, nonreasoning urges regarding power and procreation — the very same forces, no doubt, that sank the Atlanteans and their alabaster-towered oceanic empire. And the Dark Gods laffed.

Planet has been available electronically via the World-Wide Web (see the clickable links at the top of this page) and Tin-Foil-Hat Receptron since January 1, 1994. Total circulation is “thousands ‘n’ thousands” per issue worldwide. Feel free to download this zine or make a single printout, as long as you don’t charge for it or alter it in any way. That would be illegal and “not nice.” Submissions are welcomed (see below). Planet does not carry advertising or offer a subscription service, but issues are always available at our Web site, with new ones published every March 1, June 1, September 1, or December 1 (or thereabouts). Letters to the editor are encouraged and are likely to be printed.

Guidelines For Submissions
Planet accepts original, unpublished short science fiction and fantasy stories and poems, as well as digital art, from anyone famous or unfamous (use the lengths in any recent issue as a guideline). We are open to the experimental but will not publish anything we judge to be porno, gore, or in violation (as far as we are able to tell) of any copyrights (such as stories that use Star Trek, Star Wars, or Babylon 5 characters). Since Planet is free and carries no ads, we can’t pay anything except the spirit-sustaining currency of free publicity and life-enhancing good vibes. For full details on submitting stories, poems, or artwork, please visit:
http://www.planetmag.com/submit.htm.

* E-mail text submissions as plain, unformatted files (either as an e-mail attachment or, if short enough, in the body of the e-mail message) to editor@planetmag.com. One submission at a time, please. Two submissions max.

* E-mail illustration submissions separately as e-mail attachments, but Stuff or Zip them first. Alternatively, you could send the URL for an image, and we can go look at it. Images should be 256-color, 16-color, 16-gray, or B&W GIFs or JPEGs only. Send any questions about illustrations to editor@planetmag.com.

Distribution Sites
Planet Magazine is distributed only in Web (HTML) format, which can be read best with any version 3.0 or above Web browser, such as Netscape Navigator, Internet Explorer, Opera, NeoPlanet, iCab, or OmniWeb. Earlier issues of Planet are also available at our Web site in four other electronic formats: text (.txt) for any PC or Mac word-processing program; Acrobat (.pdf), a full-color version for PC or Mac using the free Acrobat Reader); DocMaker, a full-color, self-running file with sounds for Mac only; and Palm (.prc), a text version that requires a Palm PDA and a DOC reader like the freeware CSpotRun. The main place to find Planet is on the Web, either at our home page http://www.planetmag.com or our mirror site http://www.etext.org/Zines/planet.

Copyrights & Disclaimers
Planet Magazine as a whole, including all text, design, and illustrations, is copyright © 2003 by Andrew G. McCann. However, all individual stories and poems in this magazine are copyright © 2003 by their respective authors or artists, who have granted Planet Magazine the right to use these works for this issue in both electronic form and any resulting print-outs by readers for noncommercial, individual use. All people and events portrayed in this magazine are entirely fictitious and bear no resemblance to actual people or events. This publication, along with every past issue of Planet Magazine, is registered with the Copyright Office of the U.S. Library of Congress. Since our first issue, dated January 1994, Planet Magazine has been freely available via the Internet and has consistently used the names “Planet Magazine”, “PlanetZine”, “PlanetMag,” and “McCann’s Planet Magazine” to refer to itself. You may freely distribute this magazine electronically on a noncommercial, nonprofit basis to anyone and print one copy for your personal use, but you may not alter or excerpt Planet in any way without direct, written permission from the publisher, who can be contacted at editor@planetmag.com. Any unauthorized access, reproduction, or transmission of Planet Magazine, in whole or part, is strictly prohibited by U.S. federal law and international copyright law. Planet Magazine is published by Cranberry Street Press, Garden City, N.Y., USA, Andrew G. McCann, publisher.

Colophon
This issue was created with Adobe GoLive 6.0 and Graphic Converter 4.4. The Planet Magazine logo was designed by Romeo A. Esparrago, Jr., using “Startling” by Dave Bastian, at http://www.davebastian.com/. (Previous logotypes were in Arquitectura and Times New Roman). The text typeface is Arial, and in some older issues Helvetica or Geneva. Please visit the guest artists’ Web pages to learn about the tools they used for their illustrations. Each issue of Planet Magazine is made very, very recently, in a galaxy quite, quite close….

Planet Magazine ISSN: 1526-1840

“Planet Magazine” is registered with the U.S. Copyright Office